How To Practice Healthy Selfishness In Your Dating Life
Most of us know what we want in a job, a friendship, or a relationship, but we have a hard time expressing that to others. Intuitively, we understand what is good for us, where our boundaries should be, and how much of ourselves we should give to others. However, we don't always practice this type of selfishness. Many people feel forced to give too much to their work, their families, and their love interests.
Although we have begun standing up for ourselves at work, practicing a certain kind of selfishness in our dating life is becoming all the rage. In fact, healthy selfishness is essential for you to get what you want and need as you begin new relationships.
PsychCentral explains that it's important to make your needs and expectations clear because this helps you to secure your identity and personal space in a relationship. Much of our stress can be relieved by practicing this kind of selfishness, especially with our romantic partners.
What is healthy selfishness?
While many of us associate a type of pomposity with selfishness, healthy selfishness is the act of holding true to what makes you feel happy and safe, through setting boundaries. This allows a partner to understand you in a respectful way, making communication and connection easier. Stylist says that healthy selfishness actually combats the narcissism that can come with only thinking of oneself.
While dating with abandon can be exciting, more people are experimenting with healthy selfishness than ever before. Yahoo states that many of us are activating "guard railing," which involves being more careful with how you put yourself out there on the social scene. People are also setting careful intentions before committing to dating someone. This type of boundary-setting is healthy, and it sets the relationship up for a good balance.
Gone are the days of completely losing ourselves in a partnership for the other person's happiness. Rather, boundary-setting allows us to take control of our lives while sharing them with others. And according to Brides, the beginning of a relationship is exactly when you should start outlining your own boundaries.
How to set healthy boundaries
If you are tired of losing yourself in your relationships and want to start employing some healthy selfishness, there are many ways to do this. Happiful recommends starting small and working your way into boundary-setting. Doing things like prioritizing self care, respecting your own preferences, and honoring when you need to step back from others is essential.
In terms of dating, respect your physical space preferences by stating to your potential mate when you want them to come over and when you expect them to leave. In addition, keep some secrets for yourself. Do not divulge all of yourself to someone until you're ready, and make sure to spend enough time apart to have a life outside of your partner. By keeping your current friendships thriving, you can assure you won't lose your whole self in someone else's life (via Flash Pack).
Healthy selfishness is a positive way to set boundaries for yourself so that you can protect your time and your mental health while meeting new people. By setting your boundaries early and prioritizing your own preferences over someone else's, you will successfully lay the groundwork for a healthy relationship.