Tips To Stop Taking Your Anger Out On Your Loved Ones

We've all had those days where many frustrations pile up from our work or social life, and we end up snapping at our significant others, family members, or children. Sometimes it isn't until after the incident that we realize we've hurt someone's feelings by saying things we can't take back. If you catch yourself lashing out at your loved ones more often lately, you're not alone. According to a 2022 survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, more than a quarter of adults in the United States feel debilitating stress. However, overwhelming stress is only one factor that could be at play when it comes to releasing your frustration around your loved ones.


Because so many people wish to stop getting to the point where they lose control over their emotions, there has been a push for people to really take account of their mental and emotional health. The good news is there are steps people can take to calm their stress and keep life calm at home.

Understand why you lash out

If you find yourself taking your anger out on your loved ones, you are not alone. There are many reasons we act in this way, and understanding the cause behind your uncontrollable anger can help you to heal and stop lashing out.


It could be that you're lashing out due to self-protection or the memory of a past trauma. If you are acting mean to your significant other, you may be protecting yourself from getting hurt by that person (via Psychology Matters). In this case, it can help to work through these fears so they no longer influence you. 

The Swaddle explains that we take our emotions out on the ones we love the most because we feel safe around them. If we act out around our parents or say something snide to our spouse, it may be because they are a safe place to vent our emotions.

Finally, another reason you could feel emotionally out of control around your loved ones is because of the immense stress of your job or inability to communicate the way you'd like (via Relationship Institute). These are frustrating realities that plague many people, causing them to hurt the ones they love verbally. If this sounds like something you are walking through, there are things you can do to help alleviate the overwhelming emotions that cause you to lose your temper.


What you can do about it

If you feel yourself losing control more often than you used to, there are steps you can take to find calm in your life and theirs. Self suggests reflecting on your emotional patterns. Are there times of day that are more triggering for you? Is there some event that occurs before you lash out? The website also recommends that you see a professional if you need to. Someone like a family doctor or therapist could help you understand why you are feeling overwhelmed and give you coping strategies to deal with your frustration before it becomes detrimental.


Finally, find alternatives to lashing out. Go for a walk in nature, spend some time in the gym, or take up journaling. Having a place to put negative energy can make all the difference to your mental peace (via CNN).

Getting irritable, angry, and frustrated happens to us all. It's normal to have a bad day. If you are having more bad days than good, take the time to assess your mental situation, your stress level, and your triggers. Taking this time for yourself will help everyone in your home find peace and relief from the toxicity that can come from neglecting your own needs.

If you or someone you know needs help with mental health, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.