How To Navigate Your Online Friend Rejecting Meeting Up IRL

Finding friends online is sometimes more exciting than connecting with potential romantic partners. Oftentimes, we feel pressure to impress our crushes, so we act and speak differently from how we normally do; but when you're making friends, you can just be yourself. Meeting friends online has become super popular within the past seven years, specifically within the adolescent community. According to CBS News, 57% of teens have made friends through digital spaces, such as Facebook, Instagram, and even online video games. If you have social anxiety, talking to new friends online can feel much easier.


So, let's say you've been chatting with your new BFF on Instagram, and you decide it's finally time to meet up IRL. You suggest the two of you grab a coffee, and ... they reject you? But ... why? You thought things were going so well, so what happened? Sometimes, all a person wants is emotional support — someone they can vent to. It may be much simpler than that; perhaps, they're too shy and are scared to meet face-to-face. Whatever the reason, it doesn't make the rejection hurt any less.

Fortunately, there is a way to navigate the situation.

Set your expectations low

Before you even suggest the idea of meeting up IRL, it's important you keep your expectations to a minimum. This way, you're less likely to feel rejected when the person isn't interested in the idea. The biggest issue with setting high expectations of another person is that we already have it in our minds they're going to act how we want them to, Psychology Today explains. When the person doesn't say or act how we expected, we can feel disappointed, rejected, and even resentful. It's human nature, but there are ways to prevent it from happening in the future.


The next time you find yourself setting high expectations of someone else, realize that they aren't aware of those expectations (they aren't a mind reader, after all). If you want to meet up with your online friend, don't automatically assume they're going to be just as excited about the proposal as you are. This way, if they do say yes, you're going to be happily surprised rather than dejected.

Don't take it to heart

Easier said than done, right? In situations where we feel rejected, our first instinct is to assume we did something wrong and wonder what we could've done better; however, that only escalates the issue. Instead of worrying whether or not you went about it the wrong way, remember that it's not always something you did or said. Everyone has a life of their own and may not have time to meet up in person. Like we mentioned earlier, some people are shy and would prefer to keep their friendships online, and that's okay.


It's normal to have friends from different circles and is actually encouraged. Girls' Life says it's important to keep a variety of friend groups in order to expose yourself to different interests and new perspectives. It also gives you the opportunity to take a break from the people you see all the time, even if you never get to see that friend in person.