The Pros And Cons Of Edudating, According To A Relationship Expert

According to a recent survey by Seeking.com, when it comes to dating, being educated goes a long way. As the survey found, 70% of educated people globally are deemed attractive simply because of their education, with the highest percentage, at 34%, going to those with bachelor's degrees. Not far behind, at 17%, are those with graduate degrees. In the United States, 74% found people attractive based on their education. The numbers don't lie: education equals attraction. When it comes to dating, this is known as edudating. 

"Edudating is a [dating] trend where intellectuals seek out other equally educated people to date," in-house dating expert at Seeking.com Emma Hathorn tells Glam. "It involves a focus on a meeting of minds instead of being looks-focused."

You could have all the riches and good looks in the world, but if there's no intellectual connection, then the majority of people who need that type of stimulation won't stick around long. We may have thought sapiosexuality, in which one is sexually attracted to extremely intelligent people, was a fleeting sexuality dating trend, but the reality is that it isn't. Sapiosexuals exist, and they're not going to waste their time with people who don't share their level of intellect.

As George Orwell wrote in his novel "1984," "Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood." While this isn't to suggest that love has little importance in dating, it does amplify the importance of understanding each other on a level that surpasses simple day-to-day life. Being able to sit down and have a conversation with your partner about Albert Camus' "The Myth of Sisyphus" or having a debate about Karl Marx's predictions that all forms of capitalism were ultimately doomed to fail is sexy stuff for those who value education in a partner above all else.

"[Edudating] is a trend that is not dissimilar to dating up," Emma Hathorn tells Glam. "In my opinion, it's just a different shade of it. Meeting someone who inspires you and who actually expands your worldview through deeper, more intellect-based conversations and connection is a powerful thing, romantic or not. When combined with dating, this trend has the potential to create lasting, and most importantly fruitful relationships, that better both parties' lives and quality of experience."

In other words, if you're out with someone new and you bring up Marxism just to hear their thoughts, which is actually an interesting topic when you live in a capitalist country like the U.S., and they think you're talking about the early 20th-century comedian Groucho Marx, you're probably not a very good match.

Forgive all the pop culture references, but had Allie practiced edudating in "The Notebook," then she would have never ended up with Noah. Then where would we all be when we need a proper cry? There are only so many times one can watch "Pride and Prejudice."

"Having high standards for partners can create a certain amount of loneliness because once you refuse to compromise on those standards, the dating pool is a lot smaller," Emma Hathorn explains. "This is also true for having high standards for the educational levels in your relationships. These relationships are not always easy to find, and can lead to a certain disenchantment with dating in general — expectations are high, so disappointments, once you decide to pursue edudating, become higher too."

But as Hathorn points out, this can actually be a pro in disguise. It just might allow you to lower your standards enough to find someone really great in a larger pool instead of wading through a kiddie-sized pool of very few people who fit what you've told yourself is your ideal match.

As much as it's fantastic to find someone who's on our level intellectually, a lot can be said about finding someone who maybe isn't quite equal to you in that regard. For example, dating someone who's more street smart than book smart can bring things to your life you never expected. Also, just because you both don't belong to MENSA doesn't mean there's zero hope for intellectual challenges between you.

"There is something worthwhile about taking your time in finding the relationships that inspire you, and it will show you, once you find that rare intellectual spark with someone, just how much it stands out, and how much value it brings to you, and into your life," Emma Hathorn tells Glam. "Finding a match on a mental level is not easy — and it takes patience. But, when you do find it, it can be a connection that not only lasts a lifetime, but inspires you in all other facets of your life."

So, is edudating for you? It depends on how important education and equal intelligence are to you. There's no one type of intelligence, and if you're willing to see that, maybe edudating isn't for you. If having a wall full of degrees that both you and your partner can proudly display, then perhaps this is the trend for you. It's all about what you value most in a partner and a relationship, and sometimes that means putting educational expectations aside for a man named Noah.