Intentionally Dreaming About Someone Could Be Easier Than You Think

A lot of the ongoings of our subconscious minds are revealed to us through our dreams. Decoding the scenarios and symbols we dream about has long been used as a tool to find a greater understanding of our life events and what actions we should take in the future, as well as simply being a fun pastime.

Most of us notice that the contents of our day tend to pop up in some slight distortion as we dream. If you spent much of the day worrying about your upcoming dentist appointment, chances are high that you also had a dream centralizing around your teeth. The correlations can also be less obvious: dreaming of a hurricane could be a depiction of the overwhelm and powerlessness you might be experiencing. And when it comes to who makes a cameo in our dreams, the reasons may be just as ambiguous. Perhaps you commented on the Facebook status of an old high school friend earlier in the day and hey, there the two of you are chatting in a dream later. However, sometimes dream appearances can intuitively feel much more like visitations. So, can we really choose who we dream about? Let's take a closer look at why it could be much easier than we might think.

Exploring lucid dreaming

Perhaps you've heard of lucid dreaming, the state in which you realize you're asleep and have some agency over what happens in your dream. Lucid dreaming occurs during REM sleep and can happen quite randomly -– however, many claim to have developed the ability to become lucid at will while dreaming. This begs the question –- can you then opt to have someone of your choosing enter your dream? Those with lucid dreaming experience tend to agree it's very possible.

"All parts of the dream are parts of you," dream analyst Layne Dalfen told Bustle. "You're the director, the producer, all the actors, and the playwright." So, if you can will yourself to become lucid while dreaming through various methods, such as reality testing –- asking yourself to confirm whether you're awake or asleep during the day and night -– you may eventually be able to decide that you'd like your late grandfather or your neighbor to enter your dream for a chat.

Meditating before bed

Another avenue to intentionally dreaming about someone is meditating before you fall asleep. If you can visualize the person you'd like to meet in your dream as you're drifting to sleep and affirm your intention with your thoughts and breath, chances are higher that you'll have the experience you're hoping for.

"A dream is a conversation that you're having with yourself, and it's always something that you either thought about or that happened to you," Dalfen told Bustle. "So when we go to sleep at night, we prioritize the one thing that's bugging us the most, and all of our dreams are going be about that same subject." Instead of worrying or replaying stressful situations in your mind's eye before bed as many of us automatically might do, use that pattern to think about the person you'd like to see in your dream. Imagine the conversation you'll have with them, what they look like, and even what they'll be wearing. Invite them in, so to speak.

Writing, talking, and vision boarding

If you're currently fixated on a crush, then chances are high you already spend a lot of time thinking, talking, or journaling about them –- which is great news if you're hoping to also dream about them. As we established, what we focus our attention on during the day tends to manifest in our dream realm. So, if you can perform this habit with intention, you really up your chances of having a dream about the person you just can't seem to get out of your mind.

Another approach to creating a dream environment for your crush to show up is creating a vision board -– or dream board, if you will. This could consist of photos, drawings, magazine cut-outs, words of affirmation, or visuals of what you might feel internally when you see the object of your desire. You could place the dream board beside your bed and focus on it before you drift to sleep. Essentially, we are sort of aiming to trick the subconscious mind here, filling it with images of the person we'd like to dream about.

Track your dreams

Sometimes, our dreams flit away before we even open our eyes. You may have very well had a dream about the person you were hoping to dream about, but waking up to the blare of the alarm or the dog barking to be let out might swiftly take that memory from you. If you haven't experimented with a dream journal before, now could be the time. Keeping one at your bedside and jotting down your dream even through barely open eyes is how to begin the process.

The more consistently we record our dreams, the more likely we are to begin remembering them. If you can allow yourself to wake up slowly and not dart out of your cozy sleeping position immediately, you're more likely to be able to integrate your dream into your consciousness. Telling someone about your dream right away and getting it down on paper are other surefire ways to start the pattern of remembering their contents.