16 Signs Your Relationship Is Heightening Your Anxiety

Relationships are exciting when they're handled properly and when they're with the right person. The right person is usually someone you can offer the world to, and, in turn, they can offer the world right back. Unfortunately, that's not the case for everyone who's in a relationship right now. There are countless examples of issues occurring behind closed doors that make you feel like you're constantly on your toes. Whenever this is the case, it's a good idea to sit down and reflect. Ask yourself if your relationship is actually causing more harm than good.

While this might be hard to do, it's important for your short-term and long-term mental health. If you don't address these feelings when they start popping up, you'll find yourself living a life that doesn't align with what you envisioned. These are some of the signs you should look for when your relationship is actually creating anxiety rather than peace of mind. 

You're always checking each other's location

If you're always checking your partner's location (or you feel like they're always checking yours), your relationship probably isn't in a healthy place. Checking your partner's location without their knowledge clearly shows that you don't trust them because you think they're lying to you about their whereabouts. Relationships are meant to be built on trust. Trusting your partner's word about where they're going is huge. 

If they say they're going out with their friends and you're constantly checking their location, think about why you're doing that. Have they given you a reason to be insecure? If they're always asking you about where you are while bringing up your exact location whenever you're out, there's a chance they're being controlling. Having a partner who's overly controlling is one of the worst problems because you won't ever feel peaceful. It'll always seem like you're looking over your shoulder. 

You never feel secure around them

If you and your partner are out in public together and you notice them checking out other people, this can cause a huge strain on you in terms of your anxiety. Your partner should always put you first and never make you feel like you're in second place. Partners who are clearly checking other people out in front of you are beyond problematic. If your partner isn't enjoying their time with you, it might get you thinking there's a chance they're going to cheat on you or hurt you. 

You shouldn't have to beg for your partner's attention. It's never okay for them to obnoxiously look at other people while in your presence. This is a problem whether you've expressed your distaste in that type of behavior or not. Your security in the relationship will always be on edge if you think they might spot someone else they'll potentially want more than you.

You get upset when they don't text you back fast enough

There's nothing better than seeing the name of your favorite person pop up on your phone screen. Checking with them about their day while they check on you is the warmest feeling ever. But have you ever felt like they weren't texting you back fast enough? If so, their lack of speedy communication might have you feeling nervous, annoyed, or both. If you feel this way whenever your partner isn't texting you back quickly enough, your relationship dynamics might not be great for your mental health.

Feeling this way and always getting nervous about their lack of responses is a clear sign you believe they're in the middle of doing something they wouldn't want you to know about. There's typically a reason behind why you're feeling this, and this type of anxiety doesn't usually come out of nowhere. If you're feeling this way, reflect on why your current partner is making you so anxious, and talk to them about it if it's worth it to you.

You think they're cheating

It's tough to be in a relationship when you believe something as significant as infidelity might be going on behind your back. It's not easy to confront your partner and ask about something like this because it could put a strain on your relationship forever. However, don't discount the things you're feeling or the uneasy sensations you're having about your partner. There's clearly a reason behind why you think they're cheating on you. It could be from past trauma in former relationships (like having previously been cheated on). It could also be you noticing that their sexual desire toward you isn't as fiery and passionate as it once was. 

At the end of the day, the best way to relieve yourself of this feeling is to ask them outright. You'll probably be able to tell if they're cheating or not based on how they respond to your question. Be observant and analyze their behaviors. Someone who isn't cheating will understand if you need reassurance, especially if they know about previous trauma you've been through. They'll maintain eye contact with you without slouching away in guilt. Someone who is cheating might get aggressively defensive and possibly lose their temper after getting called out.

You never trust what they tell you

In the broader scheme of a relationship, if you're constantly questioning everything your partner tells you, it's a clear sign you don't trust them at all. Again, it's very important to sit down and reflect upon why you don't trust them and whatever they're telling you. There's a chance something traumatic happened in your previous relationships or in your current one that has driven you to the point of losing all trust.

One of the best ways to reflect on your partner's trustworthiness is by thinking about how many times they told you they'd do something for you and actually followed through. If they're consistently telling you they'll be there for you and actually proving their word, then this is a person that can be trusted. The small things they do are the best signs of a trustworthy person. For example, someone who's easy to trust won't tell you they're going to watch a movie with you just to bail at the last minute. Someone you can rely on won't offer to pick you up from the airport and then leave you hanging without a ride home.

They always accuse you of cheating

Being constantly berated by your partner with an accusation of cheating is something that gets old quickly in relationships. There's nothing worse than being accused of something you're not doing and having the same accusations constantly brought up. It makes you feel like you can never show enough support and love to the person you cherish to convince them how important and special they are to you. 

Always being accused of cheating might even start to convince you that your partner is really the one who's cheating on you because they're always attempting to shift the attention off of themself. At the end of the day, you're the one who knows that you're not cheating or doing anything wrong. However, it can make your anxiety jump at the thought of another potential argument and having to defend yourself, yet again. The most important thing is knowing you aren't actually betraying your partner's trust or doing anything wrong in your relationship.

They never trust what you tell them

If your partner is always questioning you, making you feel unheard, or accusing you of random nonsense, these are the types of things that will continually give you major relationship anxiety. These toxic behaviors make you question what you did to lose your partner's trust when you haven't actually done anything wrong. You'll do everything in your power to show them you're worthy of their trust, but no matter what, it will never be enough. 

This is a hugely obvious sign of an anxiety-ridden relationship that can't be ignored. If they don't trust you early on in your relationship, and they aren't going to change their ways, you should either end things or get prepared to live a life full of dramatic moments. It's paramount to be a trustworthy person in any long-lasting romantic relationship, but you shouldn't always feel the need to prove that fact to your partner. 

Being around your partner isn't peaceful

Your partner is supposed to take your mind off of your problems by being somewhat of a safe space and emotional sanctuary for you. They shouldn't add to your stress levels and frustrations. If your partner isn't a peaceful person and you're nervous to be around them, this is a sign that you should rethink your relationship. When you aren't quite sure what's going to happen next each day, it leaves you feeling totally powerless. 

You should never feel like you're walking on eggshells with your partner in order to keep them happy with you. You should have a fun and loving bond that feels natural. If you feel like you have to create distance from your partner now, just imagine what it's going to feel like in 10 years if you choose to stay with them long-term. The person you're with should bring you calmness and peace of mind. They shouldn't be someone you're trying to dodge and avoid spending time with. 

You need therapy to talk about your relationship alone

Therapy can be such an eye-opening game-changer. If you feel the need to talk to a mental health professional because of all of the anxiety your relationship is causing you, the red flags are certainly waving. Talking to a professional about your partner can be needed sometimes, but it's sort of problematic when it turns into repetitively massive venting sessions. If you think your relationship needs help from a therapist, it's something that you should feel comfortable doing together.

Feeling nervous talking about your relationship in front of your partner out of fear that they might not react well isn't a good thing. Therapy is supposed to make you feel better while providing clarity. If you don't think your partner is willing to work on your joint issues, they're not a good partner. Loving partners are able to listen to what might be causing you anxiety about your relationship. After listening, loving partners will do everything in their power to solve the problems at hand. Bad partners take your words and throw them back in your face, with or without a therapist's input. 

You're still looking for someone else to date

If you're in a relationship and you're still keeping other options open, then you're definitely not in the right relationship for you. Once you're in the right relationship with the right person, you're not going to have a significant desire to seek out other people or keep yourself available. It's normal to want to feel loved, and it's normal to enjoy garnering attention. Nevertheless, it's not smart to stick around with your partner if they're clearly not the one for you based on the anxiety they're causing.

Juggling a toxic relationship while seeking out love from someone new is a massive balancing act that takes a lot of effort and energy. It's not worth all of the added stress that will come as you're trying to keep everyone happy. If you feel the need to look for someone new while you're still in a relationship, then it's simply not worth staying in the current relationship at all.

You'd rather be alone than spend time with your partner

There's nothing wrong with wanting some alone time to recharge and recuperate. Everyone needs to relax every once in a while. However, if you constantly feel like you don't want to spend time with your partner because you'd rather be alone, that's an issue. Partners are supposed to be there to make your life more enjoyable. They're not supposed to give you more anxiety, stress, and headaches. There are many potential reasons why your partner could be making you feel so terrible when they're around. 

Whenever these negative emotions come up, you need to listen to your body and your instincts. Imagine what life will be like down the line when you're forced to spend every moment with them. If they're already giving you anxiety and making you feel miserable when you spend time with them, you might want to leave before things get worse and you feel even more trapped. 

You feel the need to defend their actions to those around you

Being in a relationship where you're constantly defending your partner and their actions to others can be emotionally draining. This might actually be the biggest factor adding to your anxiety. A strain between you and your loved ones will undoubtedly develop if they see that you aren't living up to your potential with the wrong partner. Your friends and family might not like every move and decision your partner makes, which can be frustrating for you. Still, it's not normal for you to be in a position where you have to constantly defend them and their actions. 

The people closest to us (who genuinely love us) can see things without rose-colored glasses. They can provide insights into our life that we might not easily notice. It's your choice to either acknowledge or refuse their discernment. It's important to take note when certain things are brought to light by your loved ones. If you're able to explain your side, they're either going to be understanding or they'll want to know more. Being forced to constantly jump to the defense for your partner shouldn't go unnoticed. 

You're counting down the days until they leave you

Waiting for someone to break up with you so you don't have to instigate such as uncomfortable conversation is one of the worst feelings ever. You don't want to feel guilty for initiating the breakup, and you don't want to be labeled the villain of the story. Still, you might not want to be in the relationship anymore. Your anxiety will only continue to rise as you wait for them to pull the trigger and end things.

If you're waiting for them to break it off with you, it's in your best interest to do it yourself right away. Letting your anxiety take over by sitting back and holding out for signs they're preparing to break up with you will cause the relationship to drag out further than necessary. It will do wonders for your mental health and well-being if you decide to end things on your own timeline. Keep in mind that it's also quite unfair to the other person to stay in a relationship you loathe. 

They are always judging you for what you do

Does it feel like you can't do anything right in your partner's eyes without feeling like you're being judged? It's possible you've gotten to a point where you're constantly striving to be absolutely perfect in every part of your life. This might include how you look, what you're ordering at dinner, or even who your friends are. Relationships aren't supposed to be filled with perfectionism — no one is perfect. Regardless of what someone's Instagram or TikTok might look like, everyone has flaws. It's okay to have shortcomings, and your partner should never judge you for yours.

A loving partner is supposed to be uplifting and encouraging with you. They'll find it endearing when your hair is a little messy instead of making you feel ugly. They won't see an issue with you ordering a double cheeseburger with fries. They'll find your dance moves cute and charming instead of making you feel self-conscious on the dance floor. Judgmental partners only add to your anxiety by making you want to achieve perfection. Instead of applying pressure, they should be celebrating you for being yourself. 

You know something bad is coming and can't enjoy good times

Every relationship you're in will have blissfully happy moments, regardless of how low things might get every now and then. However, if those good times come and you still can't enjoy them because you're holding your breath for everything to go south, you might not be in the right relationship. Relationships shouldn't feel like you're walking on eggshells or battling anxiety over what might happen next. 

Your relationship should allow you to sit back and bask in the wonderful moments that happen between you and your partner. There should be more high vibrational moments than low ones in comparison. If you've gotten used to the idea that you can't enjoy happy times out of fear they'll suddenly come crashing down, then it's time to find a new partner. There's someone out there you can enjoy life with, even if it feels scary to make that jump. 

You're nervous to talk to them about what's on your mind

A partner who's worthy of you and your time should always make you feel safe and be willing to hear you out. They shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable or nervous when you have the desire to speak up. A huge benefit of a healthy relationship is having someone by your side who loves you for being exactly who you are. That even includes the moments when you have to tell them about something sad or unfortunate. 

A good partner will listen to you while you're opening up. If your problem is about them, a loving partner will make sure they're doing everything in their power to repair the situation. It's normal if you want to open up to your partner about your ever-changing emotions, and a sign of a superb partner is when you feel safe and secure talking to them about anything. 

Plenty of emotions might pop up when it comes to the uncertainty you have about your significant other. Try to keep in mind that whatever is meant to be will be –– especially in the world of love. It's normal to get nervous or uneasy if you want something new, but don't ignore your instincts when they're trying to tell you something. You'll thank yourself down the line for listening to that inner voice.