22 Tips That Make Getting Over A Crush Easier Than Ever

Unrequited love is one of the most painful human experiences to go through. When you have romantic feelings for someone, and they don't feel the same about you, it can leave you feeling rejected, unwanted, and depressed. When you have a crush on someone, you start to notice all their attractive qualities that naturally stand out to you. Maybe you adore the texture of their hair or the color of their eyes. Perhaps you love the way they smile or the tone of their voice. Maybe it's a mix of every little detail about them that draws you in. 


Crushing on someone can be pretty fun at first because it gives you the chance to daydream about the possibilities. In your imagination, you can envision what an entire future with your crush would look like from start to finish. Unfortunately, you know it's time for your longing to come to an end if you let your crush know you're into them, only to discover that the feelings aren't mutual. You can continue crushing on someone who doesn't like you back, or you can figure out how to fully move on. These are some of the most helpful tips to lean on when trying to get over a crush.

Make a list of all their icks

First things first when getting over a crush is making a list of all of their icks. Although you were probably looking at them through rose-colored glasses throughout the duration of your time wanting them, it's time to start focusing on all the ways they completely repulse you. Icks can be anything, including things other people consider perfectly normal. 


If you're unsure what getting "the ick" means, here are a few examples: Did you ever notice your crush singing a song and then accidentally belting out the wrong lyrics? Have you ever watched them push on a door that was meant to be pulled? If you're not a big fan of feet, rack your brain for a memory of your crush wearing a pair of flip-flops. Maybe there was a time when you and your crush were in a social setting together, and no one heard them say a joke, so you awkwardly watched them tell the joke once again in a louder tone of voice. 

If you've never witnessed your crush do something cringeworthy that gave you the ick, you can imagine putting them in a random predicament in order to achieve the same results. Picture them running somewhere awkwardly with a backpack on. Picture them tripping on their own shoelaces. Picture them answering a question wrong in front of an entire lecture hall. You can get creative with this one.


Reject the temptation to self-blame

As much as you might feel tempted to blame yourself for the way things have turned out with your crush, you must reject that temptation. Don't start picking yourself apart and analyzing all the things you believe are wrong with you just because one person doesn't like you back. People who've been rejected often allow themselves to start feeling insecure, even though they shouldn't. The things your crush didn't appreciate about you are the same exact things someone else will adore about you down the line. You bring so many charming and endearing things to the table that you probably don't even notice about yourself. 


The right person will easily take note of your allure without making you feel like there's something wrong with you. Instead of indulging the temptation to self-blame, remind yourself of all the fantastic qualities you have. There are too many incredible things about you that shouldn't be ignored, even if you're the only person pointing them out at the moment. Think about your work ethic, sense of humor, generosity, or ambition for success. Every time you want to blame yourself for being unlikeable, flip those thoughts into positives.

Allow yourself to grieve

Even though ending things emotionally with your crush isn't the same as ending a full-fledged romantic relationship, you still need to give yourself the time to grieve without feeling guilty that a real relationship never formulated. The loss of what you envisioned between you and your crush can be just as devastating as the loss of a relationship that actually came to fruition at one point. When you have a crush on someone, you spend loads of time picturing how things might turn out between the two of you in a long-lasting relationship. 


You might've daydreamed about long walks on the beach, nighttime cuddles in bed, romantic dinner dates, and more. All of those lovey-dovey thoughts piled together in your mind to create a sense of excitement and wonder. If you just found out that you wasted time on your crush, and your desire for a potential relationship won't be amounting to anything, it's normal for you to feel like you're experiencing a loss. 

Mourning the thought of what could've been will give you a chance to heal at your own pace. The five stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. All of these stages might not apply to you personally, but you should allow yourself to feel your feelings wholeheartedly.


Have a venting session with friends

Having a venting session with your friends might be exactly what you need in order to heal from the pain of your unrequited crush. The purpose of nurturing solid friendships is to have a wonderful support system whenever you're going through different transitions in life. When everything is smoothly coming together in all areas of your life, good friends are supposed to be cheering you on with enthusiasm. When it feels like things are falling apart, though, good friends should also be there to lift you up and help you feel better. 


Making sure you have supportive friendships to lean on in difficult moments requires a bit of effort on your part. You have to be willing to show up for your friends when they're in need as well, even if it's not convenient for you. If you've cultivated incredible friendships with reliable people, you'll have plenty of options to call when it's time for a venting session. These sessions can be so necessary because they give you the opportunity to get everything off your chest in one big emotional release. It's unhealthy to keep things bottled up inside, so venting about your feelings to people who genuinely care about you is key.

Refrain from reaching out to them

It might feel like the biggest challenge of your life, but you're going to have to do everything you can to refrain from reaching out to your crush. In the same way you wouldn't want to continue poking a sleeping bear, you don't want to continue reaching out to someone who's already hurt your feelings. There's a reason you want to move on from this crush, and it's most likely because the feelings aren't reciprocated. Since you have the answers you've always needed in regard to this person, it doesn't make sense for you to continue reaching out to them during your healing process. 


Reaching out to your crush while you're trying to get over them will only slow your healing down. If they respond to your messages or calls, it will potentially spark false hope that they'll change their mind about wanting you. If they don't respond to you at all, it will leave you feeling even more rejected and unwanted than before. There's absolutely no reason to put yourself in either of those predicaments when all you have to do is refrain from reaching out in the first place. Turn your phone off or have a friend hold onto it for a few days if you need to.

Do without the thirst trap posts

You might be incredibly tempted to post a few thirst traps on social media to grab your crush's attention. If you're not already in the know about thirst traps, they typically tend to be extra sexy pictures and videos people post when they're in need of some external validation. While you want to look and feel better in your social media pictures, unfortunately, it's pretty obvious that you're trying to overcompensate for something when you post thirst traps too quickly following a rejection. 


Being called out for posting thirst traps is one of the most embarrassing and uncomfortable situations to deal with, and it's a genuine possibility. Celebrities who have gone through public breakups have immediately opted for thirst trap posts on social media. Even famous people with loads of money, notoriety, and status have evoked public gossip and side-eyes for posting thirst traps to overcompensate. The last thing you want to do is come across as desperate or distressed over the situation. 

You also don't want to give off the vibe that you're trying to show your crush what they're missing out on. If posting thirst traps on a regular basis is already your thing, then this isn't really an issue. But if you're the type of person who posts adorable pictures of your coffee art and innocent selfies with your dog, a random thirst trap out of nowhere will definitely send the wrong message.


Consider downloading a dating app or two

Dating apps might not be your thing, but you should consider giving them a try while getting over your crush. Dating apps have terrible reputations since they're so heavily connected to hookup culture and casual one-night stands. The good news is that you don't have to hook up with anyone you don't want to. You have all the power and control in that regard. In fact, you don't have to hook up with anyone at all. You don't even have to meet up with anyone you match with on a dating app! You can simply download an app or two in order to strike up conversations with people who can distract you, assuage your boredom, and keep you from thinking about your crush. 


If you do decide you want to use dating apps to meet with people for casual flings, you'll have an abundance of opportunities to pull that off. If you realize you want to utilize these apps to meet someone you can have a long-term relationship with, you'll have to be very careful, patient, and realistic with your approach. Finding true love on a dating app is possible, but it isn't the easiest feat to accomplish. Nevertheless, there are ways to determine which dating app is right for you, but ones like Hinge, Match, or Bumble will definitely help you stop thinking about your crush.

Think about attending a speed dating event or singles mixer

Meeting potential suitors by skipping out on dating apps altogether and opting for speed dating events and singles mixers is feasible. There's something very bold and brave about putting yourself out there in face-to-face situations to meet new people to date. This is an excellent option if you would rather interact with potential partners instead of sulking at home about your crush who doesn't feel the same. Depending on the city where you live, it should be easy to find speed dating events and singles mixers where you can cross paths with like-minded people looking for in-person interactions. 


Instead of matching with random people on a dating app where you're hidden behind a screen and showcasing your personality through a carefully curated profile, you can actually get to know someone in person at an event. There's no way you'll be able to think about your crush while you're in the middle of doing something so daring and unconventional. Although you might think of speed dating events and singles mixers as short-term distractions, it's possible you could meet the person you're supposed to end up with forever.

Skip out on subliminal posts

There's something very immature about sharing a subliminal post on social media. It's safe to say your crush will know you're talking about them, and it will only lead to more awkwardness between the two of you. When you post a subliminal message on social media, you describe everything someone did to bother, hurt, or disappoint you while leaving out one very important detail: their name. 


Even though you don't include names in subliminal posts, they'll still be able to guess that you're talking about them. Any mutual friends you know will also be able to speculate who you're talking about, making it worse. It's normal to want to vent about your feelings and talk about how disappointed you are, but you should save those words for in-person conversations with people you can trust. 

When you post something online, the entire world has access to it. Everyone will be able to see exactly what you're thinking and feeling, even if you regret your post the next day. Social media leaves little room for regret after a passionate outburst. Even after you delete something, screenshots might already be circulating between everyone you and your crush know.


Don't bash them publicly, online or otherwise

In the same way you wouldn't want to post subliminal messages about your crush on social media, you also don't want to bash them publicly. Attacking them online or otherwise is absolutely out of the question if you consider yourself an upstanding member of society. Just because something didn't work out with someone you had a crush on doesn't mean they deserve to be criticized by you to the world. This is an especially big deal if your crush was also a friend. If you actually had a friendship with this person and they confided in you at any point in time, it's unfair of you to blast their secrets or expose them for things they'd prefer to keep under wraps. 


Even if the crush isn't going to equate to a long-lasting relationship, whatever information they might've shared with you in confidence should still be kept. When you put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you feel if the roles were reversed, you would appreciate their confidentiality. Even if you don't have any lingering secrets about them at the tip of your tongue, you shouldn't say negative things about them in public settings.

Let go of the what-ifs

It's time to let go of the "what if" scenarios. A relationship with your crush will never happen, and it's possible they've made that clear to you. Now, instead of continuing the daydreams about a perfect fairytale romance with your crush, it's time to be a little more realistic. The two of you aren't going to run off into the sunset together, but that doesn't mean you aren't going to have that lovey-dovey fairytale ending with someone else when the time is right. It also doesn't mean you aren't going to be able to maintain a friendship with your crush once your feelings have completely died off. 


It will be challenging to pursue a friendship with your crush while your feelings are still invested, but after enough time passes and you notice you no longer desire to be with them, striking up a friendship with them will become a possibility. It's fun to daydream about what's to come in the future, but it becomes very unhealthy and complicated when rejection is added into the mix. The good news is that you no longer have to deal with confusion about where your crush stands because you have clarity. You can let go of all the what-ifs floating around.

Unfollow and block them on social media if you have to

Although it might put a strain on a future friendship with your crush once your feelings die down, you should unfollow and block them on social media for now if you need to. Don't continue following them on social media and staying up to date on the highlights of their life if it's causing you emotional distress and anguish. You can always re-follow them down the line when your feelings aren't so fiery and passionate. If they are way too offended by the prospect of you blocking or unfollowing them, that may be a sign they aren't meant to be in your life anyway. 


There's nothing wrong with unfollowing and blocking people you don't want to keep up with, even if it's just temporary. It's all about protecting your peace of mind and taking care of your mental health. Seeing pictures and videos of your crush chilling with someone else in the way you wanted to hang out with them might make you feel horrible. Seeing them post content that clearly proves they're moving on with their life (regardless of your feelings) can also be pretty painful to stomach.

Ramp up your self-care and self-love

Even though things with your crush didn't work out, that doesn't mean you can't love and care for yourself the way you wanted them to. This is the perfect time to ramp up your self-care and self-love routines. Self-love and self-care can look many different ways, including getting monthly massages, taking an "everything shower," going to the nail salon, and getting your hair done. It can also look like going to the gym, switching your diet to healthy foods, and starting a meditation schedule. 


Scheduling therapy sessions, listening to high-vibrational podcasts, and taking a few personal days off of work to recuperate are also great examples. Whatever self-love and self-care look like for you is what matters the most. Keep in mind that the ways you choose to practice these things are simultaneously proving to yourself that you deserve higher levels of love and care from your future partner. Self-love and self-care don't include dwelling in misery about your unrequited feelings for your crush. Instead, it includes cherishing yourself and doing your best to heal from the inside out.

Cry it out if you need to

You might need to cry it out if your emotions are way too pent up over this situation. Bottling your feelings up inside is beyond detrimental to your mental health. If you're the type of person who doesn't like crying in front of other people, find a place where you can be alone and have a one-on-one cry session with yourself. If you aren't able to start crying without an extra push, you might want to play a sad song or turn on a tear-jerker movie to get the tears flowing. 


Once you experience the emotional release of a good cry, you'll be surprised at how much better you feel. It will take time to heal from heartache, but each time you let yourself feel your feelings, you allow yourself to move forward in the healing process. The worst possible outcome that might occur from keeping your feelings bottled up too long is that you could end up having a random outburst at the wrong time and place. Before something as tragic or embarrassing as that happens, simply let yourself cry it out in a place where you feel safe without judgment.

Rid yourself of all the memories

You might not have been in a full-fledged relationship with your crush, but that doesn't mean you're not surrounded by memories of this person. If your failed crush was a friend you spent ample time with, you probably have a knickknack or two from them lying around your place. This is your time to cleanse your living space to rid yourself of anything they might've left behind. This includes coffee mugs, clothes, books, and more. 


If you don't feel good about throwing their stuff into a dumpster, you can offer to drop it all off or let them come pick everything up. Ridding yourself of memories doesn't stop at physical items, either. You'll also have to delete all the pictures and videos you might've snapped with your crush. As painful as this might be, having access to pictures and videos that get you caught up in your feelings isn't healthy for you. You may have been led on by your crush this entire time. There's no reason to keep memories around since they're now attached to bleakness and gloom.

Sit down with a therapist

Whether therapy sounds interesting to you or not, it's a good idea to sit down with a therapist to go through all the emotions you're feeling after dealing with a failed crush. This is a tricky subject to discuss with friends and family since you're not going through an actual breakup. Still, you're experiencing the mourning of a loss. You're feeling heartbroken over the vision you had for what could've been, and that's still valid. A therapist is trained to help you through different hardships, which means they're the best people to sit down with when you're struggling with relationship-centered issues. 


While your friends and family members will do their best to build you up with uplifting and encouraging words, they aren't professionally trained to help you get through this difficult time. A therapist who is the right fit for your needs can change your life by bringing things to your attention that you weren't aware of before. They can point things out to you that will open your eyes and make your healing process so much easier. They'll make sure you feel comfortable opening up about your grief, disappointment, and trauma regarding this particular heartache.

Repeat helpful healing affirmations

There's something very powerful about repeating helpful healing affirmations to yourself throughout your day. You might not think saying a handful of words over and over will do you any good, but affirmations have been proven to help people feel better when they're going through difficult times. You can talk about how you're giving yourself permission to heal and all of the good things you're currently grateful for. You can remind yourself that you were capable of receiving unconditional love. 


Implementing affirmations into your self-care routine is highly recommended and can be about anything and everything — whether you want them to be directly related to the heartache you're feeling over your crush or not. They can be utilized in many different ways as well. If you're driving your car in silence, you can start repeating affirmations to yourself out loud. If you have a journal or diary on hand, you can write your affirmations down repeatedly on each page. If you want to listen to positive affirmations via YouTube videos or podcasts, you can access those for free as well. Leaning into the positive emotions that come along with repeating positive affirmations will be a game changer.


Do NOT send that cringeworthy text you'll probably regret

If you're considering drafting up a cringeworthy text message to send your crush, stop yourself in your tracks and delete it. You can always write a text to describe your frustration and disappointment and send it to a friend or save it in your notes, but you should never actually send it to your crush. Sending an emotionally-driven paragraph to your crush isn't the right thing to do since it can seem like you're trying to guilt them into liking you back. Mutual desire isn't built from a foundation of guilt — and it never will be. For these reasons, it doesn't make any sense for you to waste your time trying to make them feel bad about their unrequited feelings. 


In the larger scheme of things, you have to realize that it's not their fault they don't feel the same way. Sometimes mutual attraction just isn't there. If you aren't trying to make them feel guilty, then you're probably tempted to send that cringeworthy text to unload your resentment and exasperation onto them. Odds are, they aren't as emotionally invested in this situation as you are. At the end of the day, it doesn't benefit you to send a text you'll probably end up regretting. You send a louder message of empowerment by not saying anything at all.

Create a list of things you want in a future partner

Now that it's pretty clear things aren't going to work out with your crush, it's time for you to start thinking ahead. What do you want your future partner to look and act like? Do you want them to have a solid career they love? Do you prefer that they are formally educated with a college degree? Do you want them to be on the same page with you about having kids down the line? There are probably several things you care to find in your future partner that your crush didn't even bring to the table. 


You can use this as an opportunity to remind yourself of all the ways your crush was lacking while noting all the things you expect to find in a relationship with your ideal partner. You don't have to cut corners while creating a list describing your perfect match. You can be as detailed as you want in describing the physical attributes you're hoping for, personality traits you would cherish, and mutual interests you two share. When you start thinking about the person you'll eventually meet someday, it helps take your mind off your crush.

Make yourself busy with fun activities

There won't be any time to dwell in misery if you keep yourself as busy as possible. An action-packed schedule is the best thing to give yourself while going through heartbreak. You can make yourself busier with fun activities that help speed along your healing process as well. If you have a friend to call, you can sign up for cooking, dance, or foreign language classes. You can go on a group scavenger hunt, visit a museum, or start training for a marathon with people who have fun with. 


If you don't have any friends to call at the drop of a hat, having tons of fun by yourself is still possible while filling your calendar. Some solo activities to get excited about include thrift store treasure hunting, binge-watching brand-new shows on streaming platforms, hiking with scenic views, and feeding birds at the local park. Instead of giving yourself the opportunity to wallow at home alone on a Friday night, figure out what you can do to keep yourself as busy as possible. Schedule back-to-back events if you can so you aren't spending consecutive evenings stuck alone with your thoughts.

Process your feelings on paper

Processing your emotions on paper is one of the best things you can do for yourself while trying to heal. There's something very transformative about writing down what you need to say on paper instead of simply saying words out loud or in your head. Talking aloud is excellent because you can sort through your emotions instantly while hearing yourself back. Writing everything down, on the other hand, gives you a chance to truly reflect. 


As you start on your journaling journey and go through your healing process, you might notice that the words you wrote down a week ago are much more intense than those you wrote down several days later. With each passing day, your heart gets a little stronger as you continue moving on from your crush. Writing your thoughts down will remind you how far you've come, starting from the moment you first experienced the devastation. It's also perfectly fine to write your feelings down and throw them away or safely set them on fire.

Do your best to wish them well

Even though it might not seem like the most enticing thing to do, it's in your best interest to wish your crush well. Sure, things didn't work out between you and them, but that doesn't mean you want their life to fall apart or be miserable. This is a classic case of putting yourself in your crush's shoes. If they revealed to you that they had feelings for you, but you simply didn't feel the same way, you wouldn't want them to start praying about your downfall and celebrating your failures. 


You would want them to showcase continued decency, respect, and empathy. The wonderful thing about wishing someone well, even after they've hurt you, is that it allows you to maintain a sense of inner peace. Your peace of mind should be your top priority! Sulking in anger and disappointment over how things turned out will only hurt you in the long run. Make peace with the situation by wishing them well. You'll notice that the healing process tends to become easier when you do.