Ways To Up The Wow Factor In Your Dating Life When It Feels Stale
Are you feeling stuck in a dating rut? Are you tired of the same old routine, going on endless dates and not making any progress toward finding a meaningful relationship? Trust us, you are not alone. According to Pew Research Center, nearly 50% of U.S. adults believe dating has gotten more challenging in the last ten years.
Or perhaps, you feel too scared to jump on the dating wagon altogether, and to be honest, who could blame you? The Covid-19 pandemic has significantly impacted all aspects of our lives, including dating. Social distancing measures, restrictions, and lockdowns put a halt on the dating scene. WHO states that the pandemic has negatively impacted our mental health, and many of us are weary of forming new relationships or navigating the latest dating trends.
So, whether you are looking to step up your game or get back in the game, there are always ways to revamp your dating life and up the wow factor! This article will provide tips and strategies for shaking things up and approaching dating with a fresh perspective. From redefining your goals and stepping out of your comfort zone, we'll help you add the zest you need for an exciting dating prospect in the year ahead.
Go out for the experience
In a world where social media emphasize the value of long-term relationships, it can be easy to fall into the trap of seeing dating as the means to finding your forever perfect match. However, if you want to up the wow factor in your dating life, you must start dating for the experience rather than to find a partner.
So what happens when you start dating for the sake of dating? Well, for starters, you have fun! From first-date excitement to enjoying new things with someone you are genuinely attracted to, dating is a great way to unwind, relax, and have a great time. Secondly, dating allows you to expand your social circle, make new acquaintances, and connect. Even if you are not looking for a partner, going out on a date will help you to begin socializing again. This will gradually help you get back into the dating scene by pushing you to step out of your comfort zone.
Elephant Journal suggests that dating allows you to learn more about yourself and feel more confident. In addition, dating helps you challenge your expectations, learn more about your needs, and redefine your wants. So before you decide that you are not ready for dating because you are not looking for the love of your life –- yet –- you should know that several other reasons make dating for the sake of dating a valuable learning experience.
Remove expectations
Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, we often go on a date with a set of pre-conceived expectations. Of course, this is not necessarily bad since having expectations means we treat the other person respectfully and expect the same in return. However, when we enter dating with rigid expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment.
Nobody behaves exactly as we expect them to, and, in all honesty, it is unfair to hold a person against expectations they never asked to be in the first place. After all, you don't know the person you are dating, and the least you owe them –- and yourself –- is time to prove themselves. Moreover, by removing expectations, you are removing the first date stress off your shoulders and allowing things to move naturally without pushing your date to unfold how you expect it to.
Tonny Robbins –- best-selling author and life strategist –- suggests that releasing expectations is the key to being truly happy. Letting go of your expectations allows you to enjoy yourself unabashedly and be open to meeting new people. Michael Kaye, a dating expert at OkCupid, tells Metro UK that it's crucial to keep an open mind when dating and lowering your expectations. Going on a date and knowing that things could not work out will help you "avoid any sadness and keep your confidence in check, so you're ready to get back out there."
Date someone out of your type zone
Think about all the dates you've been to so far and try to be completely honest with yourself: How similar were the people you dated to one another? There is no reason to shy away; we all have a specific type we gravitate towards. So, in considering all your dates, chances are they are more similar than different. Psychology Today suggests we have a penchant for specific characteristics, which we consistently look for in a partner.
But think about it. Isn't dating the same type repeatedly a recipe doomed for failure? Not that there is something wrong with it per se, but if you keep insisting on a particular type, you limit yourself to a smaller pool of available dates. And if trying to find a date from that limited pool has proven unsuccessful, perhaps it's time to explore other options.
So, try to be less strict with your filters in the magical world of dating apps. Remove a filter (or two!) and try to date someone that does not fit your typical type. The experience can be a real game-changer, allowing you to step out of your type zone and view potential dates holistically. Instead of searching for a person that fits neatly into your set of ideal qualities, you are freeing yourself up to new opportunities which turn into valuable learning experiences.
Go out with a person that checks off your curiosity list
Suppose you have a thing for actors. Or poets. Or people with an Italian accent. Or let's say you are curious to date someone who works in a particular business vertical. Whatever it is, now is the time to satisfy your curiosity and go out with that person!
There is no better way to up the wow factor in your dating life than finally checking off that little memo on your curiosity list that makes you tingle. If not now, then when? You might be pleasantly surprised even if you think the person will not be a perfect match. After all, do you want to go through your life wondering about what-ifs?
Elemental suggests that "regrets of lost opportunity can last longer and cut deeper than regrettable action." It is, therefore, better to go on a date with someone who sparks your curiosity than stay in your comfort zone and torment yourself with regret over things you did not do while you had the chance. So grab the opportunity and up the wow factor in your dating life while checking it off your bucket list.
Leave quaint rules behind you
If your dating life feels stale, perhaps it's time to leave quaint rules behind you. There is no right and wrong about dating. You should feel free to be yourself and act naturally. If you enjoyed your first date and want to initiate a second one, do! Don't feel restrained by unspoken rules.
The Pleasant Relationship states a few rules you must stop following to enjoy your dating experiences and up the wow factor. For instance, you should not expect your date to initiate the first kiss, text first, or be open about how much they enjoyed your company. Perhaps, most importantly, it is not shaping yourself to be what you believe your date wants to see. Dare to show up as yourself and have a great time unabashedly. Be true to your values, wants, and needs, and realize that some rules are outdated.
HelpGuide suggests that reassessing your misconceptions about dating and relationships is the first step to enjoying dating and perhaps finding lasting love. Because let's admit it, it's hard to enjoy something if you can't let yourself be free and always do a mental check on what is and isn't permissible during the first dew dates.
Go on a first date to a place you've never been to before
There is no better way to up the wow factor in your dating life than going on a date to a place you've never been to. Stepping out of your bubble can be extremely rewarding and help start a new date on the right foot. So, instead of repeatedly going to the same old places, try something new. Or better yet, try a wholly unique experience altogether.
We tend to think of first dates as dinner at a nice restaurant or drinks at a cozy bar. But what if the first dates could be more than that? What if you add the spark of a new place to the excitement of a new date? Why settle for dinner and a movie when you could do so many other things instead?
Business Insider has a few ideas to bring to the table to add some pizzazz to your dating life that stretches beyond the culinary world. From long walks to a park, a library or bookshop visit, a comedy show, an art museum or gallery, and even a flea market outing, first dates lend themselves to a world of opportunities. Best part? You can finally visit that place that none of your friends seems willing to tag along.
Understand that you can always say no!
In your quest to add a spark to your dating life and try out several dating strategies, you should not forget that you can always say no! Keep your boundaries, and remember that dating should primarily be fun. If it feels forceful, then you should not do it. If you feel that going out on a date requires too much effort or puts too much pressure on your mental health, reschedule or cancel altogether. Remember that dating aims to help you meet new people and open up yourself to new experiences. This, however, should not mean that you should be a social butterfly, or dating busy-bee, acquiescing to every unique date invitation to try out new things.
For your dating life to succeed, you must stay true to yourself and normalize saying "no." So, don't feel that you should go on a second date just because you want to be polite, text a person you are not really into, or go on a first date you are not excited about. While being careful of others' feelings and respecting their wants and needs, you must also embrace what you want. Don't sacrifice your personal needs to get out of a stale situation. However, if you wish to up the wow factor in your dating life, there are ways to do it without compromising what you want or need.