Real Talk: You Shouldn't Have To Convince Yourself Your Relationship Is Working

Relationships can be a beautiful thing. Having a partner in your life should enrich your experiences, give you new perspectives, and allow you to engage in a deeper level of intimacy. Of course, that does not make them easy by any means. If you ask anyone in a relationship, it's common to go through the ups and downs of life. This could be resolved by improving communication in your relationship or even giving each other space. But what if your issues aren't as clear?  


Sometimes during a relationship, something doesn't feel right. There isn't a clear issue that could be pointed out, but this isn't the bliss you expect to experience in a happy relationship. While it's easy to brush off your feelings because nothing is directly wrong, they are an indicator that something needs to change. Having to convince yourself that your relationship is great could be a sign that it may be time to end your relationship.   

Your emotions are valid

While in a relationship, there should not be any gray area on whether this is a good fit. This does not mean everything needs to be sunshine and rainbows, but you should know in your heart this is the person you want to go the distance with. Having thoughts that your partner might not be for you, even for a second, is something to look into.  


Happiness is an undeniable feeling, so there is no need to convince yourself of that happiness. Try to figure out where this is coming from; is it this unhappiness stemming from a specific situation, or is it just your partner? Think through it long and hard but acknowledge that this is not working. It might even help to speak about it with your partner since they might feel the same way too. Transparency can be the first step to getting your relationship on track, or to helping you move on. 

Figure out why you want to stay

Believe it or not, there is a reason you are convincing yourself that this is a better relationship than what it is. Sex therapist Holly Richmond explained to CNN that our inability to leave unfulfilling relationships often is due to a deeper issue that we are avoiding. "In my experience, there are most often underlying fears and insecurities that prevent people from moving forward into a life that might be less comfortable but ultimately happier and more authentic. These couples tend to settle into a 'good enough' relationship," she told the publication.


Richmond explained further saying these fears can stem from having children together and changing the dynamics of the house. Other times, people are afraid of the steps after the relationship. It is not uncommon for people to fear not having another partner, or being afraid of the effects this would have on a current partner. However, this is no reason to stay, your partner will always prefer honesty versus being strung along while you're unhappy.