Fizzling: Ghosting Someone Just Got A Little Less Harsh (It Still Sucks, Though)
There's no doubt that dating can be complicated and more than just a little confusing. Along with finding someone special to spend time with and watching out for both green and red flags, you may also want to keep up on the latest romance- and relationship-related lingo. Frankly, there are so many new phrases popping up these days that you might find yourself in need of a dating dictionary to help you decipher certain terms. For instance, you may have heard of being ghosted, but have you heard of fizzling?
Similar to ghosting — which involves someone completely cutting off contact and suddenly disappearing — fizzling also sees one person removing themselves from the potential relationship, according to Yahoo! Life. However, the latter method is done more gradually and perhaps more subtly. This might mean that the person who's doing the fizzling isn't as quick to answer your phone calls or texts. On top of that, their messages might be short and to the point without the extra flair that comes along with someone who's seriously interested in the conversation (and the person they're having the conversation with). Eventually, the correspondence will stop as things fully fizzle out. Although fizzling may seem like an easy way to end a relationship that might not have a future, it turns out that it still sucks as much as ghosting for a few unfortunate reasons.
Fizzling is selfish and can result in self-doubt
There is a range of reasons why a relationship may not work out and seemingly as many ways to end things. There are also various motivations behind how a person opts to say goodbye — or, sometimes not bother to say goodbye. When it comes to fizzling, that motivation is probably not a concern about the other person. Therapist Rhian Kivits told The Mirror, "The person doing the fizzling is most likely avoidant and selfish because they're not responsible or secure enough to admit that they're no longer interested in the connection and they lack care for the way their behavior makes others feel."
As for how people will likely end up feeling when they've experienced fizzling while dating, it's just as unfortunate. Hinge's love and connection expert Moe Ari Brown told Yahoo! Life, "Slowly phasing someone out without offering an explanation can trigger feelings of unworthiness, confusion, and self-doubt. If you're not feeling the connection, remember there's another human being on the other side of that screen — and they deserve closure."
In fact, when Hinge conducted a survey that involved 14,000 people, it found that 90% wouldn't want the person that they're dating to resort to fizzling. Instead, they would prefer a text to properly break things off. That's totally understandable when you realize how valuable it can be to you both as well as your future relationships.
Fizzling prevents the closure you need to move on
Fizzling isn't only selfish, disrespectful, and potentially hurtful, it also keeps you from ending the relationship in a healthy way that can provide you with something that's important for both people involved. Psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz told Men's Health, "Avoidance denies closure, [and] keeps either of you from learning about yourselves and from possibly finding out there was something that could have been repaired and made the relationship worth keeping."
Although having a conversation about why things haven't worked out might be a little awkward and possibly even emotional, it may be an important step. Dr. Saltz explained, "Speaking about why you are choosing to end things, what did not work, and what you appreciate about the other person is actually helpful to both of you in the present and in the future."
Indeed, not only will you be able to walk away from the relationship knowing why it didn't work out, but you'll also be able to move on instead of dwelling on a possible reconciliation, according to Marriage.com. On top of that, you can use what you learned to help you figure out what works for you, what doesn't, and how you want to go forward when it comes to your love life. Finally, it might also allow you and your now-ex to remain friends which definitely won't happen if one of you resorts to fizzling.