How To Wade Back Into The Dating Pool After Gaining Weight Because, Really, It's NBD
We all know how gaining weight can negatively affect our mental health. It significantly lowers our confidence, making us believe we're not worthy of respect, especially when it comes to finding love. We spend so much time crafting the perfect image of ourselves on social media and dating apps, that when something about us changes — like when we put on weight, it can cause us to spiral and retreat from the dating world. Our vision of ourselves completely changes, which affects our willingness to put ourselves out there, according to Psychology Today.
To combat low self-esteem, Mayo Clinic suggests changing the way you speak to yourself. Be kind and uplifting. Think about it, would you make hurtful comments to your best friend, pointing out her cellulite, or the fact that her jeans don't fit like they used to? No? Then you shouldn't say them to yourself. After all, you are your own best friend, so be nice! While wading back into the dating pool after weight gain may seem intimidating, we have a few ways to help you do it.
Keep your profile photos up-to-date
If you're worried a date is going to be disappointed when the two of you meet in person, remember they may feel the same way. But to ensure they have realistic expectations, make sure your profile photos are up-to-date. By being upfront and honest with your photos, you're less likely to be freaked out, wondering if they're going to dip the moment they see the new you. Full-body photos can help with these insecurities as well. If you don't have any on hand, ask a friend to snap some photos of you in all of your glory — and own it! Remember, there's nothing sexier than a confident woman.
The issue with still photos is that you can stare at them for hours, pointing out every single flaw and harping on your insecurities. Thankfully, dating apps like Tinder and Hinge allow users to upload videos in addition to photos. You should take advantage of this option because videos show off your personality in a way still photos can't. Have any videos of you playing with your pets or singing karaoke to your favorite Fall Out Boy song? Add those to your dating profile to give potential matches a better picture of who you are.
Build up your confidence
Easier said than done, right? Have you ever heard of the phrase, fake it 'til you make it? Well, getting back into the dating pool after gaining weight is exactly that. The key is about acting confident. By pretending to be confident, you start to believe you really are, as mental training expert Carrie Jackson states. It's all about playing mind games with yourself, but unlike most mind games, this one actually builds you up instead of tearing you down. Take a look in the mirror before your date and remind yourself what a total boss you are.
If you need an extra kick of confidence before going on a date post-weight gain, hit up your most supportive friend. Having a strong support system around you drastically improves your self-esteem, per MyWellbeing. Express your insecurities, and watch as they spring into action, but don't be afraid to ask for a confidence boost either, even if it means a quick compliment or reminder of your best qualities that have nothing to do with how you look.
Dress for your new body
Whether you're getting dressed to take new profile pics or go on a first date, choose clothes that fit your new body. Trying to squeeze into your old pair of jeans just to prove you can wrestle into a size 4 isn't going to help your self-esteem. In fact, it's probably going to make you feel a lot worse. Forget about size; dress in clothes that fit you properly, so you're less likely to focus on how your arms look in your favorite shirt that's now a bit tight. When you're comfortable, you're going to feel a lot more confident.
Find an outfit that makes you feel your absolute best, even if it's just jeans and a T-shirt. This may be your go–to look for right now, and eventually, you'll have a whole new wardrobe full of pieces that fit you just right. If you're having trouble getting rid of your old clothes, call up that supportive friend again to help you through it.