Simple, Healthy Phrases That Prove Communicating With Your Partner Doesn't Have To Be Difficult

Relationships aren't always easy. That's no secret. But it's also not a secret that a strong, healthy relationship is worth the effort. And at the heart of every good relationship is effective communication. With strong communication, you're able to cultivate the consistent give and take that builds mutual understanding, trust, and togetherness.

And it's this kind of connection that can help you weather any storm, from the inevitable conflicts that occur in any relationship to the mistakes that partners make to the simple stressors and frustrations of daily life. What is it, though, that makes communication within a relationship so essential? How do you build and maintain a healthy rapport with your partner? Turns out, it's not all that difficult when you know what you're doing and why.

This is especially true when you combine robust communication with deep listening. Listening deeply and communicating actively can help you build an enduring relationship that may well last a lifetime. And it all begins with a few healthy phrases to keep the lines of communication flowing and the bonds of affection growing. We'll show you some of the most effective phrases to help you connect and improve communication with your partner.

It can be easy to assume that we automatically know what our partners want or need, especially if you've been together for a long time. But the reality is that people change — and so do circumstances. You can't simply take it as a given that you can anticipate your partner's hopes, dreams, and desires. You're not a mind reader, and your partner isn't an automaton. They're going to grow and evolve, just as you will. After all, change is a part of life. Resistance to change is both unhealthy and unfeasible.

But, sometimes, these changes aren't always easy to predict or prepare for. What makes this question truly beneficial is that it inspires sharing. The goal is both to hear and to be heard, to reciprocate by discussing your own wants and needs. And there's no better way to ensure that you and your partner are growing together rather than apart.

But the benefits of such a question don't end there. By asking — rather than telling — your partner what they need, you empower them to take the lead in understanding and defining their own lives. This allows you to provide support, guidance, and encouragement without being controlling or domineering. All too often, we don't take stock of our own lives. We allow inertia and habit to chart our trajectory. But when you ask your partner what they want and need, you inspire them to reflect on their happiness and well-being. There's no greater or more loving gift than that.

Expressing and practicing gratitude is essential in every relationship, but it's especially important in a romantic partnership. Partners need to feel valued and appreciated by their loved ones in order to maintain that critical sense of connectedness. After all, relationships take work, but no one's going to put in the effort if there isn't an expected payoff at the end.

A simple thank you can go a long way in making your partner feel recognized and, above all, in making them feel needed. We all want to feel as if we have an important place in the world, especially in the life of the person we love the most. When you make it a point to say thanks, you're also making it a point to show your partner you value and need them.

Best of all, the benefits of expressing gratitude aren't just for your partner alone. Showing gratitude also changes you and your perspective. The more you learn to recognize and give thanks for all the ways that your partner enhances your life, both large and small, the more you will cherish your relationship — and that's key if you want a partnership that lasts.

As we've already seen, every relationship will go through its rough patches. When you're close to someone, conflicts will arise. Trying to avoid them will only exacerbate the problem. However, conflict can actually be a positive thing for your relationship if you approach it in a healthy and constructive manner. More specifically, by taking a problem-solving approach to conflict, what was once a point of dispute between you can become a catalyst for growth in your relationship.

In essence, what you're doing when you approach a conflict from a collaborative, problem-solving perspective is shifting your paradigm for disagreements. No longer are disagreements seen as points of contention over which a battle is waged. You're no longer trying to "win" at your partner's expense. Rather, you're engaged in a mutual — and mutually supportive — effort to come to a resolution together.

Such an approach to conflict is designed to preserve the sense of connectedness within a relationship while at the same time fostering your growth as a couple. After all, you can't work out a problem together if you aren't willing to negotiate, compromise, and deal with matters maturely if and when some things don't go your way.

You're not the only one who's going to make mistakes in your relationships. Your partner will too. That's a certainty. And that means that, at some point, you'll need to forgive just as you have been forgiven. Holding a grudge is like a cancer eating away at your relationship. Far too often, a grudge becomes an unconscious defense mechanism, a way we protect ourselves from future pain after we've been hurt.

But there's also frequently a darker motive. Grudges can become a dysfunctional form of power, a cudgel that the offended party wields against their offender. This can often be a subconscious way to exploit the other person's guilt in order to manipulate and control them. Whatever the cause, though, it's always destructive for the relationship. Sooner or later, they're going to get tired of feeling guilty — and you're going to get tired of playing the victim and punisher.

The important thing to remember about forgiveness, though, is that it doesn't mean the transgression has been excused or forgotten. It doesn't mean that what happened was okay. But it does mean that you're no longer going to allow yourself, your partner, or your relationship to be ruled by the act. It means you're moving on. No, healing won't happen overnight, and trust won't be restored immediately, but making the decision to genuinely accept their apology, and speaking that decision aloud, is an essential first step.

When you were single, you probably spent most of your time dreaming about finding a partner to share your life with. You probably yearned for the sense of stability and certainty that comes with true commitment. And, more likely than not, your partner once longed for the same thing. That's why, when it comes to building healthy communication with your loved one, it's especially important to remind them that your commitment hasn't faltered, even when times are tough.

This is also why the words "divorce," "separation," or "breakup" should be the "Voldemort" of your relationship. It should be the word-not-to-be-spoken between you because the less secure you and your partner are about your relationship, the easier it is to turn elsewhere for safe harbor. On the other hand, when your partner knows that you are in it for the long haul, they're far more likely to make the effort themselves. After all, it's easier to stick things out when both partners are pulling in the same direction.

Similarly, by affirming your commitment, you're not just reassuring your partner of your intentions — you're also shoring up your own resolve. We move where our attention is focused. If your attention is fixed on seeing it through, working out your issues, and preserving your relationship, then that is what is likely to happen. If, on the other hand, your focus is on separation — or the possibility of separation — it's going to be much easier to drift in that direction.