Why It's Time To Test Out The 80/20 Rule In Your Dating Life

If you feel like you've tried every approach to dating and there's nothing left but to throw in the towel, think again. Let us introduce you to the 80/20 rule: the idea that 80% of outcomes come from just 20% of actions, per Asana. Focusing on 20% of tasks can still result in 80% of the impact you can create. While this is easy enough to apply to the business world, this can also be a perfect recipe for finding your next significant other.


In the context of dating, the rule follows the same basic idea, although it's slightly adapted; it would have you initiating effort with your date 20% of the time (which can yield great results), and allowing them to initiate the other 80% while you focus on you (via PureWow). This will take the pressure off you and will also help to reveal who is worth your time and who isn't. 

You put less pressure on yourself

Think of how many hours you've spent wondering if the person you're seeing is ready to commit, or if they just want to keep things casual. You wonder whether it's too early to have that talk, or if you're coming on too strong and about to send them running for the hills. Eventually, you drive yourself crazy obsessing over this person and start thinking of all the things you could be doing differently. Pretty soon, you're mentally burnt out.


Instead of staying up all night, racking your brain to figure out your relationship status, refer to the 80/20 rule. Allocate 20% of your attention to this person you're dating, and use the other 80% to focus on something else, like growing your friendships or practicing self-care. Do things that are good for you and make you a better person, and always remember to put your needs first. Per the rule, you can still achieve great results with this minimal amount of effort, so there's no point in stressing yourself out trying to win someone over.

By implementing the 80/20 rule into your dating life, you will cleanse all that wasteful energy out, and your mental health will thank you.

You learn who is really worth your time

The 80/20 rule can also be applied to teach you which people are okay to let go. When you start dating someone, instead of showing all of your cards up front to impress them, the rule lets the other person prove why they're worth YOUR time. How they do that depends on what you're looking for in a significant other. Do they initiate plans? Do they send you good morning and goodnight texts? Whatever it is, the 80% of the 80/20 rule is meant for them to do the heavy lifting. If they can't, they may not be the one you're looking for.


In this way, the rule is great for weeding out people who aren't right for you. You'll soon learn which dates are willing to put in the effort for you, and which aren't. Then you can only leave room for those who have relationship potential.