How Boundaries Can Actually Foster A Stronger Relationship
The word 'boundaries' can sometimes hold negative connotations for people, especially if they've been subjected to abuse or therapy speak by a previous partner or another loved one. When boundaries are used as a way to control others or to avoid uncomfortable topics or consequences, they can damage connections and prevent personal growth. When healthy boundaries are set and respected, however, they can actually set the tone for a strong, fulfilling, and highly functional relationship.
A boundary is healthy when it preserves a person's values and their sense of autonomy. Valuing your own happiness and setting boundaries around your time and energy — even when that means saying no to invitations or requests — is a healthy boundary. Refusing to accept a no for an answer from your partner because you depend on them for your happiness is not a healthy boundary. The following guide details the ways that setting and respecting healthy boundaries within your relationship can strengthen it.
Connection through communication
The process of setting boundaries can actually double as a strengthening exercise for your relationship. In order to express your need for a boundary, you have to first share your needs with your partner. Expressing your needs requires vulnerability, honesty, openness, and trust. When you can openly express your need for a boundary to your partner and they can open up to you in the same way, a deeper, stronger connection is created.
If you'd like to harness the power of boundaries to continue to develop your relationship, consider scheduling a repeating check-in with your partner for setting intentions and ensuring you both feel that your boundaries are being respected. This discussion can take place weekly, monthly, or quarterly, depending on what you both feel is necessary for your unique relationship. Getting into the habit of regularly communicating your own needs and listening to your partner's needs without defensiveness or judgement will prepare your relationship for the long haul.
Balance and respect
A relationship that allows for healthy boundaries creates a balanced power dynamic between the two partners. Each partner is free to speak their truth and express their needs and each is receptive to the other's requests. This fosters a strong, long-term relationship in which both parties feel secure, loved, heard, and valued. When you have a partnership based on these values, it also becomes easier for each partner to value themselves and grow as an individual.
Giving and receiving respect is essential to a strong and successful relationship. Setting and enforcing boundaries is the perfect way to practice respect for each other and respect for the relationship as a whole. If you feel like your relationship needs a more solid foundation to be able to grow, consider having a conversation with your partner about setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Remember, it's not about being perfect, it's about showing a willingness to openly communicate your needs and express respect for your partner's. That is what will strengthen your relationship.