Science Of 'Blue Balls': Women Experience This Sensation, Too (It's All In The Bloodstream)
Chances are, if you have many male friends or just happen to spend a lot of time around men, you've heard someone complain about how they've been experiencing discomfort and frustration because of "blue balls." But what does that even mean? According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, "blue balls" is what people call "pain of the testes and scrotum occurring after prolonged sexual arousal without orgasm." So, in other words, his private area feels uncomfortable because he's horny and hasn't cum in a while.
Before we can dive deeper into our article, we must make one point clear: you should never, under any circumstances, let any man make you feel guilty for not wanting to have sex, no matter how much he complains about "blue balls." If that person doesn't listen to you and continues to be pushy, we recommend cutting them out of your life. Oh, and by the way, women can experience the "blue balls" effect too, so tell the next man who goes on about how you "don't understand the pain" that women go through it, too. The discomfort and frustration happen to women as well, and society needs to start talking about it.
It's more about the bloodstream than balls
Yes, women experience discomfort from lack of sexual relief too, and everyone needs to accept and understand that fact. "'Blue balls' — or "blue vulva" — refers to a colloquial expression used to describe a temporary condition that can occur when sexual arousal in males or females is not relieved through orgasm or sexual release. However, "blue vulva" is not a commonly-used term and is not widely recognised or acknowledged in medical literature," Dr. Farzana Khan, a GP and leading specialist for women's and men's sexual health, told Glamour UK. The doctor said, "males or females," proving that women can also struggle with orgasm-deprived discomfort. But because of society's far-too-common double standards, we rarely hear about how women go through this, too. Say it with us: "Blue vulva' is just as valid as 'blue balls.'"
Another too-frequent misconception is that women never want sex, as there are many inaccurate depictions of women's sex drives in TV and movies, such as scenes where men beg women for sex. Many women love sex — especially when it leads to orgasm! One TV show that successfully demonstrated female desire is "Sex and the City." In the groundbreaking program, the iconic Samantha is famous for her sex-positive attitude and frequent looking for new sexual experiences (via YouTube), and she gets frustrated when going too long without orgasm. Thus, women crave sexual release, too — just ask Samantha.
What to do when you experience blue vulva
Feeling uncomfortable from dealing with blue vulva is valid, and men have been frustrated about the sensation for as long as we can remember, so your frustration is 100% justifiable. Of course, you should never make a partner feel guilty if they don't want sex for a night or longer — no one should be disrespectful to anyone, regardless of gender. But there are other ways to get what you want and feel better. For example, if you and your partner or partners have busy schedules, consider scheduling a sexy session with them at a time that works well for everyone, so you'll all get what you want. And, scheduling sex in your relationship doesn't have to seem like a chore!
Masturbating is another way to feel better, so don't be ashamed of making yourself feel good. Sometimes all you need is your hands to give yourself an orgasm, but if you want to go the extra mile, many satisfying sex toys can lead to amazing orgasms. Even retail is ready to take on the sexual wellness biz in 2023, so look for a toy, such as a vibrator, known to provide pleasure and satisfaction, in stores or online.