TikTok's 'Thank You, More Please' Trend Is All About Appreciating The Little Things
"Thank you, more please." If you've scrolled through the #datingadvice hashtag on TikTok lately, you may have seen this little phrase pop up, thanks to a viral video by dating coach Lily Womble (for the record, Caitlin Kirkpatrick — another coach on TikTok — posted a "thank you, more please" video one year earlier, but the concept only took off after Womble posted her clip). The idea behind the four-word expression is simple: When you stumble across something in your day-to-day life that you'd like to experience more of, say out loud to yourself, "Thank you, more please."
Womble explains that the technique works even for the little things — so nope, you don't have to hold out until your crush slides into your DMs or you snag a date with your dream partner to try it. "What if a cute human passes you on the sidewalk? Say, 'thank you, more please,'" she says. The dating expert also suggests trying it out when you make eye contact with someone attractive or you share a flirty interaction with a stranger.
The "thank you, more please" challenge is geared toward those who have lost hope, particularly in their love lives, and need proof that what they want exists. Besides being a fun concept, there are some psychological reasons why it might actually work.
The technique can trigger major mindset shifts
Lily Womble explains in her TikTok video that suffering through bad dates and tough breakups can lead to feelings of hopelessness and negativity — and that, in turn, can make it even harder to put yourself out there and seek the kind of relationship you want. This is largely due to a thinking trap known as negativity bias. According to Healthline, a negativity bias is the tendency to filter out the positives and accentuate the negatives. This type of mental filtering is common and may have once served the purpose of protecting humans from danger. However, it might not be serving you so well in your love life, especially if you're overlooking compatible matches or opportunities for connection. The "thank you, more please" challenge can help bring more balance to negative thinking patterns.
The technique works in similar ways to override a happiness-blocking confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is where you only focus on evidence that supports your current beliefs, per PsychCentral. If you've started to believe that you'll never find a good partner, you might not even notice when your ideal companion is right in front of you. Moreover, you may remember interactions inaccurately when your memories are influenced by confirmation bias. For instance, you might only recall how awkward a date was while forgetting the chemistry you shared. The "thank you, more please" trend turns confirmation bias on its head by making space for evidence that supports new beliefs about love and relationships.
Other ways to try the trend
TikTok clips about the "thank you, more please" method were flooded with comments from people eager to test out the hack, but there is one catch that could make it a little tricky in real life: actually saying "thank you, more please" out loud in front of others. "When you say something out loud, your brain hears it differently than just a thought rambling in your head," Lily Womble explained to Elite Daily. That's why she says, to fully commit to the challenge, it's best to actually verbalize the phrase when you find slivers of hope during your daily interactions. Of course, that might not feel doable in every situation, a point that comedic duo Cosmic Force Comedy poked fun at in a stitched video.
If the idea of talking to yourself in public gives you the heebie-jeebies, don't let that stop you. Instead, tweak the trend by making a note on your phone of your "thank you, more please" moments, rather than uttering the four words for others to hear. You can also start a gratitude journal or serendipity journal to help your brain hone in on the magical moments you might otherwise ignore.
Another component of the "thank you, more please" concept is identifying what you want in your life. If you're not even sure what to say "thank you, more please" to, manifestation-style exercises might help. To start, try practicing visualization, identifying your values, or creating a vision board.