Our Psychologist Shares The Mental Health Benefits Of Holiday Gift-Giving
Ah, the holiday season. 'Tis the time to be jolly and embrace the festivities. Something about this time of year makes many people cheerful and happy. And it's not just the abundance of excitement and joy in the air — sure, who doesn't like parties and celebrations? Our good mood during the holidays stretches beyond the merry get-togethers. Whether we opt for quiet luxury gifts or more budget-conscious presents, giving is an intricate part of the festive season and part of the reason why the holidays can feel so good.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, there are scientific causes behind the mental health benefits of giving presents to others. During the act of giving, our brain releases certain hormones that make us feel good: serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. Serotonin and dopamine are known as the "happy hormones" that improve our mood, while oxytocin is aptly dubbed "the love hormone" because it helps us bond with and feel connected to others (via Healthline).
Pure biological factors aside, what are the mental health benefits of gift-giving? What makes us feel good when we give presents during the holidays (or generally, for that matter)? Glam spoke exclusively to Dr. Aldrich Chan, a Miami-based neuropsychologist, to get to the bottom of this. From fostering social connections to supplying us with a sense of purpose, making someone happy by giving them a present lies at the core of the jovial sentiment we experience during the holidays.
Gift giving is an 'expression of love' that brings self-fulfillment
During the festive season, many individuals experience an overflow of warm emotions and yearn to spread the love and show it to the people around them. Giving gifts to others is a practical way to show our care for them, and while the receiver experiences positive emotions, the giver experiences equal amounts of joy. "Gifts are a tangible way to express love, gratitude, and appreciation. Sharing these sentiments can enhance positive emotions for both the giver and the recipient, contributing to a more positive outlook on life," said Dr. Chan.
Moreover, the thoughtful process of picking just the right present enhances this feeling of fulfillment. As we spend time choosing the perfect gift for our loved ones, we fill ourselves with intention, which can do wonders for our mental health. As Dr. Chan explained, "Choosing thoughtful gifts and trying to bring others joy can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Knowing that your actions positively impact someone else's well-being can be emotionally rewarding." Plus, when we've hit the jackpot by picking a well-received gift, we experience a "boost in self-esteem ... [reinforced by] a sense of competence and agency."
Gift giving fosters belonging and social connections
People are inherently social beings. Humans need to be part of a group and experience a sense of belonging. Even without realizing it, we gather in teams: at our work, in our neighborhoods, and our extended family and group of friends. Evolutionarily, this benefits self-preservation, communication, and goal achievement (via Psychology Today).
When we give gifts, we nurture our relationship with others and help forge new — and increase existing — social connections, which feeds this inherent need for belonging. Consequently, exchanging gifts also fosters our mental health, seeing that our basic human needs of togetherness are met. As Dr. Chan explained, "Building and maintaining positive social bonds contribute to improved mental health and emotional well-being."
Moreover, the feeling of belongingness is further enhanced by following cultural traditions. As we exchange gifts during the holidays, we take part in timeless festive customs. "Participating in gift-giving during holidays or cultural celebrations provides a sense of belonging and connection to shared traditions, adding to the festive spirit," stated Dr. Chan. Finding stocking stuffers for everyone on your list can be very satisfying not only because of the act of giving itself but also because of the feeling of belonging in a group that follows the same set of traditional norms.
Is there such thing as going overboard?
While exchanging gifts can bring a host of mental health benefits, Dr. Chan warned that there are some potential drawbacks to be considered, especially if one loses sight of the true purpose of gift-giving and goes overboard. Your budget and peace of mind can take a hit in such a case. "Overspending on gifts beyond one's means can result in financial stress, debt, and long-term financial repercussions."
Unfortunately, it's easy to fall into the trap of overspending, especially as expectations build through the years. If you splurge on presents a couple of holidays in a row, you may inadvertently foster an impractical precedent for both parties involved. "The recipient may come to anticipate lavish gifts regularly, putting pressure on the giver to maintain or exceed previous levels of generosity." Not wanting to let your loved ones down or make them feel less worthy with less than extravagant gifts of yesteryears, you may keep stretching your finances to the breaking point.
On the flip side, giving expensive gifts — even when you can afford them — also puts pressure on the recipient. Imagine buying a lovely, fine-metal bracelet for your best friend and receiving a practical scarf in return. What do you think will happen when the next festive season comes? They may try to match your luxury present, thus putting themselves in a challenging monetary position. And if they cannot do so, you may feel unappreciated or resentful.
The never-ending cycle of gift-giving
Gift-giving is meant to be a genuine, heartfelt process. However, sometimes, especially during the holidays, present exchanging becomes an obligation that brings stress rather than enjoyment to both the giver and the receiver. When you give gifts, "the recipient may feel obligated to reciprocate, leading to a cycle of reciprocal gift-giving that is not necessarily based on genuine desire," warned Dr. Chan.
Furthermore, when gift exchange reaches a point of excessiveness, the intrinsic value of the gestures diminishes. Once thoughtful and meaningful, presents may be taken for granted as they become an anticipated routine. This expectation can lead to a lack of genuine appreciation. Consequently, the mental health benefits associated with fostering self-esteem and purpose through giving are compromised. The giver may find that their heartfelt presents are not met with the joy and enthusiasm they used to, leading to disappointment.
Unfortunately, even when one's intentions are genuine and not part of an established obligatory routine, one may still risk being misjudged. "Overly generous gift-giving may lead to misinterpretation of motives. Others may question the giver's intentions, suspecting ulterior motives or seeking validation through material expressions," concluded Dr. Chan. In light of this, it's crucial to approach gift-giving with an awareness of potential misinterpretations and realize that modesty might be the key to keeping a balance.
Simple tips to enjoy the gift-giving season
So, how do you make it through the gift-giving season and experience all the mental health benefits it entails sans the drawbacks? Dr. Chan offered a few simple tips to Glam to ensure you make the most of it. First, "set realistic expectations to manage gift-giving stress and navigate the holiday season more smoothly." This may include creating a list of everyone you want to buy presents for and setting a realistic budget within your means.
If you need to lower your budget for each present to afford them all, then you should unapologetically do it and rid yourself of feelings of guilt. After all, presenting your loved one with a thoughtful and meaningful gift is more valuable than splurging. Spending time considering what your friends and family will like and allocating your energy and enthusiasm into handcrafting it (if you can!) may be more purposeful than extravagant purchases. Presents made with love often mean more than those acquired by maxing out your credit.
Finally, normalize giving smaller gifts and simplify the process. "Acknowledge it's okay to set boundaries," Dr. Chan suggested, and break the never-ending cycle of obligatory present exchange. After all, during the festive season, remember that what is truly important is who is around your tree and not what's under it. Embrace the jolly spirit, spread the love, and give gifts that matter, not gifts that cost.