How To Get A Good Night's Sleep When Sharing The Bed With Your Partner

The benefits of a good night's sleep seem endless. Waking up fully rested, ready to take on the day, is a feeling we crave. Our minds are clearer, our moods are happier, and our health is better. But sharing a bed with someone else almost always assures that they will interrupt our peaceful rest at some point in the night. Whether it's snoring, restless tossing and turning, or conflicting sleep preferences, it can be difficult to get the sleep required to have a productive day. Some couples are so desperate for a good night's sleep that they are in a sleep divorce, where they sleep in separate beds in separate rooms and even at separate times (via Sleep Center Info).


If you are sharing your bed with a partner, but you are having zero success at a full night's sleep, you could be angry, bitter, and fed up. If your partner hits the snooze more times than you'd like, hogs the blankets, or snores incredibly loud, you may be building up feelings of angst that can be unhealthy for the harmony of your relationship. If this sounds like you and your situation, don't fear. There are many ways to navigate sharing your bed with someone you love.

1. Consider upgrading your bed

In order to have a good night's sleep, you need to sleep on a comfortable mattress with soft bedding on top. By doing some light research or contacting a bed expert, you and your partner could be close to a healthy sleep schedule. If one of you prefers a firmer mattress and the other a softer one, consider a bed that offers solutions to both (via Sleepopolis). 


Bedding is also important when searching for a better night's sleep. Make sure your thread count is high enough to stand the test of time. The thread count of your sheets determines how soft and durable they are. Experts recommend that the thread count of your sheets be at least 300 (via Good Housekeeping).

2. Visit a sleep doctor

If your partner snores or chronically tosses and turns throughout the night, there could be something deeper at work. By visiting a sleep specialist, you can work with a professional to determine the root of the problem. Sleep therapists will interview you and your partner to really examine what might be holding you back from rest (via American Psychological Association). They are also going to give you tips on how to achieve a full night's sleep while sharing a bed. The solutions could be inexpensive and noninvasive and get you closer to dreamland than you ever thought possible.


3. Communicate clearly and kindly

You may be struggling with sleeping through the night, and your partner may not even know it. If you've never communicated with your significant other about your sleep struggles, they may not even know anything is wrong. However, if it is something preventable, your partner can work to adjust to make sharing a bed with them more enjoyable. 


They may not know they snore, hog the blankets, or talk in their sleep. By mentioning what's holding you back from precious sleep, you can get closer to solving this problem (via Healthline). Make sure you approach the topic in a kind way, and don't be surprised if your partner lets you know that sleeping with you might disturb them as well.

4. Work to accept it

Some sleep experts recommend working for acceptance instead of frustration. After all, your partner is someone you love and connect with. If you work to adjust your feelings to appreciate the things you love about your partner, rather than focusing on what aggravates you, it may give you more peace at night. 


Sleep School recommends working on ACT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy — acceptance in the areas of our life that cause us pain and frustration. They maintain that suffering is a part of the human experience, and changing our thought processes may help us to find enough calm to sleep through the night (via Sleep School). 

5. Sleep on your schedule

If you are having trouble sharing a bed with your partner, make sure it is not because you are trying to go to sleep on their schedule. Of course, it is nice to lie down with your loved one every once in a while, but make sure you are going to sleep when you are tired and at a time that makes sense for you (via Psychology Today). Doing so will get you on a natural sleep schedule, and it may make it easier for you to fall and stay asleep.


A healthy night of sleep is important for so many aspects of our lives. However, when you share a living and sleeping space with someone you love, there will be compromises and considerations to take. By following these tips from sleep experts, you may be closer to fully enjoying that sweet feeling of waking up fully rested.