Mistakes To Avoid On A First Date
Most of us can agree dating isn't the easiest thing in the world. Whether you met the person online, in real life, or were set up by a friend or a mother who wishes you'd get married already, the first date can be super stressful. For starters, there's the whole fiasco of figuring out what to wear. Then once you get to the date, there's the added stress of deciding how you should act and what you should say. If you're at dinner, you have to make sure you order something first-date appropriate. After all, no one looks good scarfing down an entire burrito.
In the event things aren't going well, chances are you have some sort of escape plan set up ahead of time. According to a Top10.com survey, 60% of daters make sure they have a way out, either with a phone call from a friend or suddenly feeling under the weather. Fortunately, there are ways to make your date more enjoyable so you don't have to resort to those measures. Before you meet up for your next first date, take a look at these four mistakes you should avoid.
Going out with someone who makes you feel uneasy
As of 2021, there are 323.9 million people using some form of online dating, Cloudwards states. With so many using dating apps and websites to meet people, there's a lot of opportunity to make a first impression about someone before seeing them in person. If you've been in the game for a long time, you probably have an idea of how messy online dating can be. While there are some really great people out there, there are just as many who use it for alternative reasons and can take things too far.
This isn't exclusive to just online. In fact, meeting someone who gives you a bad vibe can happen in real life as well. Maybe you had an uncomfortable interaction with someone at a bar or coffee shop, or perhaps, this person has been known to act out-of-pocket in the past. No matter what the situation is, it's probably not the best idea to go out with someone who gives you the heebie-jeebies. Trust us, it's okay to sit this one out.
Not being clear with your intentions
People date for a variety of reasons. Either they're looking for love, want something more casual, or maybe they're interested in nothing more than a hookup, and that's okay. We all have different wants and needs. What isn't okay is not being honest with the person you're going out with. If you want to have a successful date, you need to be upfront with your intentions before you meet up to avoid wasting each other's time. While it seems like a simple task, sometimes it's easier said than done.
The best way to tell someone what you're looking for is by being direct, but not too direct says Healthy Framework. Coming right out and saying you're looking to get married in the next year is fine, but the person might get the impression you're too desperate, and you'll end up scaring them away. On the other hand, if you're searching for a fling, don't start sending your date sexual messages. Not only is it extremely uncomfortable, but again, you come off as desperate. Instead, simply tell them you aren't looking for anything serious, and let the conversation go from there.
Looking for their flaws
You're on your date and thinking things are going well... maybe too well. When someone seems so great, there's a small voice inside telling us that there must be something wrong, right? Finding faults in people is a natural and fairly common habit, Mind and Soul explains. So, you start searching for anything that could be wrong with the person. One of the biggest issues people have on their first date is picking the person apart to try to find the negatives.
Of course, there are those absolute no-nos you should never ignore, like showing up drunk or being too physically aggressive, but we're talking about the nitpicking people do on the first date. This is essentially a form of self-sabotage that can really ruin an experience. If you find yourself looking hard for the red flags, take a step back and realize what you're doing. In other words, no, they aren't chewing weird, and no, they aren't blinking too much. However, if they keep going on about their former partner or are being rude to the waiter, then you may have something to worry about.