Here's How You Can Support Your Partner When They're Feeling Insecure

Being in a relationship has its ups and downs. There are days when there are only happy moments, but there are also days when you might feel lost, insecure, or unworthy. Anyone who says that couples should always be happy and never get into arguments probably doesn't have the communication skills that could lead to a dispute, or they have the skills and are using them too well. There's an equal understanding from each side. Relationships are about growing together, sharing, and putting in the effort every day (sometimes, one person might put more effort than the other on certain days). It won't always be sunshine and rainbows; there will be low days. How you deal with those will strengthen or weaken your connection with your partner.


The days when your partner feels insecure are the days that are the most important. It gives you a chance to show them the love you hold. Dealing with an insecure partner can be overwhelming if they're constantly feeling low and you've tried everything to cheer them up. However, there are different ways to support them. Here are some tips to try out the next time they feel insecure.

Figure out the main issue

The key to a successful relationship is strong communication. We've heard this multiple times from love experts to therapists to couples in a relationship that without communication, you can't express your feelings and needs successfully to your partner. According to Our Relationship, effective communication strengthens the respect between partners when you're open about your feelings. Plus, it prevents your partner from having to guess what's wrong.


When you sit down with your partner, help them identify what could make them feel insecure by openly talking to them. Be patient with your significant other because it can often take time for them to open up and be transparent. Once you figure out the main issue, you can move forward. Insecure partners need a lot of reassurance and attention, which sometimes could be overbearing. However, once you find out the right way to show that attention, you'll be able to incorporate it more in your partnership.

If your partner was cheated on, they might be on edge when you go out with friends or not respond immediately to texts. To ease their insecurities, updating them throughout the night can help them feel calm. It will also build a stronger bond.


Offer them support

After finding out what your partner is insecure about, discuss how you can support them and meet their needs. It can be tempting to tell them what they're feeling isn't that serious, but to them, it can be, which is why showing your support can improve things. Avoid telling your partner they shouldn't be feeling insecure, or they're making themselves feel insecure when you feel like you've done nothing wrong. It will cause them to shut down, and they may become distant. Even though you might not think their reasons for their insecurity should require so much attention, they need reassurance.


By offering support, you're expressing that you care for their feelings, want them to feel better, and help them overcome their insecurity. Showing support doesn't mean you should only focus on what they say. Instead, talk about how you think about the situation and discuss your needs so that you can learn from each other and move forward. By encouraging each other, your bond will grow stronger. Small compliments can go a long way. Simply thanking them for being open and discussing with you their emotions will make them feel good, and they'll feel more comfortable opening up.

Spend quality time together

Sometimes all a partner needs are quality time, even if that looks like going on a walk or watching a movie. When a couple has different schedules, it makes spending time together challenging, which can cause one partner to feel like they're being forgotten or left behind. In addition, it makes them feel insecure if the connection is one-sided. Setting aside time to go on a date or stay in and play a few card games can help improve the relationship.


Having your own life is essential, so you don't have to do everything with your partner. Creating a balanced life where you and your partner do your own thing separately, then devote time together, can help keep the sparks alive. According to The Naptime Reviewer, spending quality time with your partner can make your relationship last longer. You don't have to spend every second at each other's side, but find some time to do the things you enjoy jointly. Your insecure partner will feel like they're worth your time when you specify you want to hang out with them. They'll feel more secure, and that will help enhance their self-esteem.

Create healthy boundaries

While it's essential to be there for your partner, especially when they're feeling insecure, take the time to take care of yourself as well. It can be emotionally and mentally draining when you're constantly reassuring your partner, so spend some time away from them to focus on the things you like to do. When you occupy all your time with your partner, you can feel overwhelmed and suffocated, but knowing when to step back and do some self-care can help your mental well-being. Go on a walk, journal, or watch your favorite movie to get some alone time. It will help you reset and focus on your relationship. Remember that you can't and shouldn't fix your partner's issues. Instead, keep your door open if they need you as they try to navigate their feelings.


Avoid manipulation tactics if your partner isn't showing improvement in their insecurity. Sometimes partners won't handle their insecurities well and take out their frustrations on you. They won't realize they're doing it until you bring it to light and discuss how they're making you feel. For example, when they make you feel bad for devoting too much time to friends or family, take a step back and assess the situation. Have a conversation with them about what they're doing and how it makes you feel. They'll be more aware of their thoughts and actions and will try to improve.