What To Consider Before You Begin Dating Someone Who Is Newly Single
There are many reasons why you might want to date someone who is newly single. Perhaps your long-time crush has finally broken up with that girl you couldn't stand. Maybe you fall head over heels for someone on a dating app ... before they've even finished wiping their last guy from their Instagram page. Why wait for your dream date?
While there's some logic in pursuing a potential love before someone else snatches them up, there are also risks involved in dating someone who is newly single. While acknowledging that everyone is different, an expert for Insider noted that most people "wait at least a month if they had a relationship that was at least a few months long." But what if it was years long? What if your potential partner insists that they're ready, but you're not so sure?
There are many factors to consider when falling for someone newly single to ensure that you don't get hurt or unintentionally find yourself in a rebound relationship.
Communicate and take things slow
All people come with baggage, and a fresh breakup is quite a big burden to carry. Before jumping into a relationship, it's important that both people are on the same page about what they want. If you have one person looking for a rebound and one hoping to go all-in on a relationship, heartbreak is sure to follow.
Of course, some newly single people might feel like they're ready for a relationship when what they really want is a return to normalcy. If they no longer have someone to update on their everyday actions and someone to fall asleep next to each night, a longing for the dynamics of their old relationship could manifest as an urge to date.
For this reason, it's best to take new relationships slow and avoid recreating the routines your partner had in their old relationship. This will help you to build a new connection rather than just take the spot of an old one.
Remember that post-breakup feelings are highly variable
When you date someone soon after a breakup, you are knowingly entering their time at an emotionally vulnerable point. Even if they are completely over their ex, they're still coming to terms with large lifestyle changes. If their feelings of readiness waver during this time, try to meet them with forgiveness and understanding. They likely weren't lying about their interest in the first place; they're just trying to sort themselves out.
If you do enter a formal relationship with someone who recently became single, give them your trust. As a therapist told Self, "People often process the loss of a relationship before it ends ... so sometimes it's possible to truly be over someone — and then just happen to meet someone else soon after." More likely than not, your partner really is ready for something new — and is excited that that "something new" is you!
Continue to check in with their feelings, but avoid accusations or jealousy. Why waste your "honeymoon phase" on worries of the past?