The Easiest Way To Unmatch From Someone On Dating Apps Without Hurting Their Feelings
Whether you're new to dating apps, or you're an online dating aficionado, chances are you've experienced this same scenario: After a few back-and-forth messages with one of your matches, for whatever reason, you realize they aren't the person for you. It happens all the time (which is why there are so many people still using the apps). If you want to get out of the situation, all you have to do is click a button and they're gone forever. Unfortunately, that isn't always the best way to go about it.
Unmatching someone on a dating app isn't the same as breaking up with someone in real life, but a person's feelings can still get hurt, which is why it's worth considering a different approach. Of course, there are the exceptions, like when you're talking to someone who makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. In those cases, unmatch — and block — them as fast as you can. In your day-to-day occurrences, however, you may want to end things on a better note.
Be upfront and honest
In situations where you're no longer interested in a match, the best thing is to be upfront and honest about how you're feeling. Put yourself in their shoes. The two of you have been having great conversations, then they realize you aren't a great match. Perhaps, they see you as someone they could hang out with, but not romantically. How would you like them to navigate the situation? You'd most likely want them to tell you, right? It doesn't have to be a dramatic affair, just a simple message.
The key is to keep it sweet and simple. Sometimes, people overcomplicate things, which can make the situation worse. Acknowledge you've enjoyed talking with them, but you don't see things going any further. There's no room for interpretation, so there's no miscommunication on their end. If it helps, keep a default message in your notes so you aren't left figuring out what to say if it happens again (and we hope it doesn't!). Remember, it should be straightforward, but not harsh.
Don't ghost
It may seem like the easiest option, but ghosting someone will do nothing but hurt your match's feelings. Nowadays, we're so quick to unmatch a person because of how simple it is to do, but it can come off as passive-aggressive, even if that isn't your intent. With that said, there are plenty of people who ghost their matches because they actually want to make someone feel bad — particularly narcissists — but more often than not, people are just too afraid to tell the person how they feel, Psychology Today explains.
It's totally understandable, wanting to dip from the conversation. Telling someone you aren't interested in them isn't fun or easy, so it's normal your first reaction is to disappear without saying a word. But as we said before, put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone you were into abruptly stopped messaging you and never said why? Give your match the courtesy next time you're getting the itch to ghost.