How To Make Sense Of Your Zodiac Sign's Shadow Side For Better Relationships

Our zodiac signs have both a yin and yang side, which includes good and bad traits that stem from our astrological placements. These negative traits are often referred to as our shadow side. The light and dark sides of our signs can indicate how we might behave when we're happy or unhappy, both in our work and personal lives. Therefore, our zodiac shadow sides can impact our relationships, both romantic and otherwise.


In relationships, our signs themselves, including their ruling planets and elements, can affect how we connect with others. Some signs are more compatible than others, but their shadow traits can sometimes make it challenging to get along. When balanced, the light and dark sides stabilize each other, but if there's an imbalance that leans toward negativity, the darkness can take over, and more of our sun sign's shadow may control our behavior. By examining each sign of the zodiac, their shadow traits, and how they can make relationships difficult, you can better understand how to balance these emotions and work through any troubles you encounter with your partner.

Stubborn Taurus

Taurus, the second sign of the zodiac, is symbolized by the bull. This symbol represents the stubborn nature of Taureans, which, if not managed properly, can lead to negative outcomes. However, when a person experiences balance between their light and dark sides, this quality can be beneficial, allowing them to stand their ground and persevere through challenging projects.


As a fixed sign, Taureans are averse to change, and possessiveness can be another negative trait. Nevertheless, they are ruled by Venus and have love on their sides. Instead of using your bullheadedness against your partner, channel it into motivating them. Listen to their wants and needs, and make concessions to ensure mutual happiness. Agree to disagree and let your partner have a win sometimes if you want to maintain a smooth relationship.

Remember that relationships require equality, so respect each other's boundaries. If your clinginess is overwhelming your partner, don't make excuses for it. Instead, work on lightening your grip so they don't feel so suffocated. Taurus pairs best with other Earth signs and other fixed signs, but even in those cases, you may experience some struggle with who is right and who is wrong. However, remember that disagreements are a natural part of any relationship and can be overcome with patience and understanding.


Perfection-seeking Virgo

Virgo shows loyalty to those they love. However, when this mutable sign succumbs to their darker traits, they can become lost in their own worries and insecurities. Although Virgo is in touch with their emotions, they don't always know how to control them. While they pair well with other mutable signs (like Pisces) and other Earth signs, they also get along well with emotional Cancers who can relate to the overwhelming feelings this sign sometimes experiences.


Being mutable, change comes easier for Virgo, but they may find it hard to navigate life when they don't feel like they're doing enough or in control. Like their Earth brethren Capricorn, Virgo likes to work hard, and their steadfastness can sometimes hinder their relationships. If your partner is not as work-centric as you are, you might feel alone and let down. It's important for Virgo to take some time to have fun and not spend all of their energy on being the perfect employee. You don't have to be the perfect partner either, so you shouldn't worry about impressing your mate with money or looks. Instead, you should learn to enjoy your time together.

Repressed Capricorn

Speaking of Capricorn, this cardinal sign is in control at all times. While this can be a good thing, it can also be a detriment to them. They prefer to be in control of their relationships, and when they aren't, they can feel repressed and inhibited from doing the things that matter to them. If their partner lets them know that they aren't happy, they may quickly fall into despair and assume things are about to end and there's no chance of reconciliation, even if the situation isn't that dire.


When in balance, Capricorn is a go-getter who treats the people they interact with, including their romantic partners, with kindness. If your partner is feeling disconnected from you, whether because you've been too focused on work or your pretentious attitude has made them feel inferior, don't blame them for your own feelings of inadequacy. Instead, make time for them, sit down, and communicate about what you're dealing with. Give them a chance to share their feelings of loneliness. Once you've both expressed your concerns, you can dispel any feelings of constraint and reconnect with one another.

Detached Aquarius

Aquarius is the fixed one among the air signs. They are capable of functioning well alone, making it easy for them to detach themselves when there is trouble in paradise. Aquarius individuals have difficulty compromising, preferring things to be the way they want them. They may pull away if they feel pressured to change for someone else.


If you are an Aquarius, it is important to remember that others' feelings matter too. Although you can continue to control your own life and remain unyielding to changes you dislike, you should still consider your partner and their needs. Sure, friends mean everything to you, but if you're always with your friends and ignoring your partner, how do you think that makes them feel? Don't shut down when your partner seeks your attention; instead, find a way to respect their needs and wants while still getting what you want. This may entail skipping a friend's night once in a while or not ignoring your significant other when friends are around. It may also mean relinquishing control of decision-making to some degree and allowing your partner to have a say.


Codependant Libra

Cardinal Libra is the leader among the air signs. When they lack consistency in their relationships, they can become very clingy, even codependent, making it hard for them to make decisions without their partner chiming in with their opinion. Although Libra is a leader, they value leading with kindness and comfort. You can still be gentle even when feeling lost without your partner.


Instead of letting frustration get the best of you and feeling less self-sufficient, talk to your partner about why you're relying so much on them. You may be putting too much pressure on your significant other, causing them to pull away. Your best bet is to listen to their advice and explain what made you start finding it hard to make decisions for yourself and start leaning so heavily on them. They can help you work through these issues. 

In addition, there are several ways to find balance and overcome the challenges that come with being a Libra. For example, shadow work is a helpful practice that can allow you to address your negative traits and find inner peace. By acknowledging and working through your flaws, you can become a more self-aware and well-rounded individual.


Moody Gemini

Gemini is represented by the twins, and because of this they often get a reputation for having multiple personalities. When balanced and happy, Gemini people are friendly and enjoy spending time with others. They possess a gentle side that makes them likable, but that all goes away when their shadow side emerges. If Gemini feels ignored or underappreciated by their significant other, they will start to crumble. When their walls break down, they can get overly moody.


When your moods take over and it's hard to see beyond your internal pain, don't shut your partner out. We know you're not a fan of spending time alone, and pushing your partner away with your uncontrolled moods will just leave you more isolated. Instead, put your mutable aspects to work and roll with the punches. Moods come and go, and it's important to learn how to deal with them. To do this, you need to learn emotional intelligence. This means taking the time to understand your emotional responses, identifying what causes them, and then letting them go without letting them take over. Remember, you can be moody without allowing your mood to control you.

Selfish Aries

Aries is the cardinal fire sign, which means they like to be in charge. However, an imbalanced Aries can quickly go from feeling confident in themselves to acting selfish and arrogant. A selfish partner not only neglects their significant other but also causes extra stress in their life. Your fiery ruler, Mars, pushes you to be more aggressive in all things. When things are not going well in your relationship, you can sometimes forget that you are in it together and lash out at your partner.


Rather than impulsively getting into arguments with your significant other or thinking only of yourself when you're in one of those selfish moods, lean into the feelings of passion you have for your partner — after all, you're a fire sign full of fiery desire. Some things you can do to stop your self-centeredness include giving your undivided attention to your partner and practicing gratitude for them and the other good things in your life. When your partner points out that you seem narcissistic, don't take it the wrong way. You know you have this issue, and now is the time to sit down and work things out.

Dramatic Leo

Leo's creative side is lovable, but when they feel off balance and in turmoil, they can quickly become overwhelmed and go off the deep end. Leo is one of the most confident signs and for good reason. When feeling good, they are kind-hearted and warm, lighting up any room they step into. On the flip side, a hurt lion is likely to lash out, and when they do, everyone will know about it. Oh, and Leo is fixed, so changes don't go over well either!


Leo's biggest trigger is not being the star in their partner's life. They want to be the center of their significant other's attention and can get loud when they feel they aren't getting the recognition they deserve. There's nothing wrong with needing care and consideration from your partner, but it's important to approach the situation calmly and have a conversation about your needs. Instead of trying to drill the message into your partner's head by chasing them around the house and slamming doors, you can channel your stress and emotions into something creative. This can help you mellow out and find balance within yourself.

Blunt Sagittarius

If you know a Sagittarius, you know that they are loud and boisterous, but also some of the most giving and generous people out there. Sagittarius doesn't hold back on their feelings, even if they may hurt someone (sometimes). While this is both a fantastic trait and a harmful one, Sagittarius can be pretty blunt even when balanced. However, when feeling imbalanced, that bluntness can be like nails on a chalkboard. When aimed at their partner, it can cause a rift that may be difficult to stitch back up.


Sagittarius, you may think that you're helping people, especially your partner, by being completely honest with them. However, take a closer look at the honesty you're pitching. It's okay to hold back on things that could damage your relationship, at least until you can come up with a new way to say them that is less harmful to your partnership. You know how to be eloquent when you need to be, and as a mutable sign, you're able to change with ease. Put that skill to work to tone down your bluntness. Save that snarky tone of yours for the people who really deserve it.

Sacrificial Pisces

Pisces is not as emotional as Cancer, but they are deeply in touch with their feelings. They tend to feel for everyone, which can be overwhelming. This empathetic fish would throw themself in front of a train if it would help someone they love. However, this can suck the life out of Pisces. In a balanced world, Pisces is good at setting boundaries to keep themselves protected from being overwhelmed with the emotions of others, including their significant other. Pisces knows all about whirlwind emotions, but they can learn to control those raging waters — it just takes time.


When your emotions are out of whack, don't toss yourself into the deep end or tie yourself to the railroad tracks. Step away from the people who make you want to sacrifice yourself. As they say, you can't lead a horse to water and you can't save a sinking ship. Pisces is good at going internal, so when it is time to step away from the people pulling you down, take some time alone to recharge and think about what you need to do to stop feeling like you need to take care of everyone before you take care of yourself. As a mutable sign, Pisces can go with the flow.

Manipulative Scorpio

There are many Scorpios who have worked hard to show people that they are not the manipulative meanies astrology books and horoscopes often make them out to be. However, they still have a tendency to let their dark side take control of their lives. If a Scorpio feels controlled, jilted, or alone in their relationship, they may quickly lash out and try to find ways to make their partner back off, come back, or pay attention to them. Unfortunately, one of the ways they may try to get someone's attention is through manipulation – and they are quite skilled at it.


Dear Scorpio, instead of resorting to manipulation to get what you want, try opening up to your partner about what is making you unhappy. Although communication may not always be your strong suit, it is one of the most important things in any relationship. If your partner is unwilling to talk or listen, it may be time to consider alternatives, such as relationship counseling or moving on. Scorpio is a fixed sign, so making changes may not be easy, but sometimes that's exactly what you need to pull yourself out of that spiral of manipulation.

Emotional Cancer

Cancer is a cardinal sign known for its leadership qualities, but it is also a sign that is highly influenced by its emotions. When Cancerians lose control of their feelings, they tend to become moody and melancholic, and they may find themselves in tears. If a Cancerian feels unloved or confused in their relationships, they may fall into a cave of insecurity, where negative thoughts seem to echo continuously.


The key to pulling yourself out of this watery dungeon is to figure out how to get off that emotional roller coaster and shut out the negativity. So, how does emotional Cancer better deal with their emotions? Practice boundary setting, open up with your partner about what you feel, and get inside your head with some shadow work. The best way to silence those echoes in your head is to find out where they come from and tame them with positivity. Remember that it is okay to feel emotional and vulnerable at times, but it is also important to take control of your emotions and not let them control you.