Wedding Red Flags That Your Marriage Is Likely To Fail, According To Our Behavior Analyst

A wedding is not just a celebration but a grand stage where promises of a shared future unfold. Yet, amidst the laughter and festivities, subtle indicators may sneakily hint at the destiny of a union. In our quest to decipher these wedding red flags, we've exclusively enlisted the wisdom of physician, behavior analyst, and emotional intelligence and body language maestro Dr. Jack Brown. From the seemingly innocent lack of eye contact to the complexity of shared humor, Dr. Brown delves into the nuances that could either spell everlasting harmony or signal caution.

So, let's embark on this exploration into the intricate language of love and commitment together. Join us as we unravel the coded messages that may be woven into the very fabric of a wedding day, where gestures, expressions, and shared moments play a crucial role in predicting the course of a marriage. Will it be everlasting love or divorce in a matter of months? Here's how to tell!

Now, before you come at us (in case you had or plan to have a small wedding), we didn't make this up. Data scientist Dr. Randal Olson published a list of things that make your marriage stable, and one of them is also how many people attended your wedding. "Crazy enough, your wedding ceremony has a huge impact on the long-term stability of your marriage," Dr. Olson writes on his website. "Perhaps the biggest factor is how many people attend your wedding: Couples who elope are 12.5x more likely to end up divorced than couples who get married at a wedding with 200+ people."

Now, this seems to directly relate to the support the family and friends are giving a couple. The more people attend, the more support there seems to be. And even though deciding on your wedding guest list is stressful, it seems as if the more the merrier applies to weddings, too. But of course, this isn't a one-rule-applies-to-all type of thing. For example, if you're having a small destination wedding, this can be totally disregarded as it's completely normal that the guest list for such a wedding would be smaller.

While every couple is different, and their levels of public display of affection may vary, at a wedding, the newlyweds should share some noticeable intimate moments of affection. "When we have a high level of affection for another person, we touch our foreheads, temples, or periocular region to the other person's forehead, temple, or periocular region. This is a highly reliable sign of affection," Dr. Jack Brown exclusively tells us. "A couple that does not instinctively and routinely display this specific behavior has lower levels of affection (or none at all)."

Perhaps the most common display of affection is the act of hugging, which is why they provide a great glimpse into the couple's future. Dr. Brown explains that the way a couple hugs can be an indicator of their relationship and how long it will last. If they are barely leaning in with their feet further apart than their chest, that might be a bad sign. "Couples who lean in when they hug have much lower levels of affection. This is a huge red flag," Dr. Brown tells us. Apart from the hug itself, another major indicator of their love is their eyes during a hug. Dr. Brown tells us that those who close their eyes while hugging tend to be more in the moment, which is a major green flag. Those who keep their eyes open, on the other hand, aren't as affectionate, and that's not a good sign.

Control and manipulation are huge red flags for any relationship, romantic or not. However, they are sometimes difficult to spot in a public setting. "Most all of these behaviors would indeed be displayed verbally — although they also would have accompanying body language displays," Dr. Jack Brown exclusively reveals to Glam. Now, manipulation has many faces, but according to our expert, the most common one is the "elevated central forehead contraction together with a subtle mouth smile."

It's worth noting that according to Psychology Today, manipulators are pros at hiding their true nature and motives, which is why it's often difficult to recognize them. One way to realize you're perhaps being manipulated, according to Psych Central, is if your partner makes you feel ashamed or guilty. Another red flag for this behavior, per the Berkeley Well-Being Institute, is feeling that you're dealing with a condescending partner. Needless to say, a marriage in which one partner is manipulative doesn't stand a great chance, as most likely, both sides are going to end up feeling miserable in it.

Humor plays an important role in any relationship, especially a romantic one. After all, if you can't laugh about the same things, there is bound to be a disconnect. "Couples who laugh together stay together," Dr. Jack Brown exclusively tells us. "But more specifically, couples who have similar types of wit have a higher level of cohesion. So when observing couples, it's important to watch their laugh dynamic. Do they laugh at similar moments? One way wit-laughter dynamics are not nearly as healthy as bilateral laughing."

According to Psychology Today, clever humor is often an indicator of intelligence and confidence — two things often considered to be attractive traits. Now, who is the funnier partner in a relationship remains a highly contentious topic. A 2022 study published in Personality and Individual Differences reported that out of 149 heterosexual couples, men judged their jokes to be better than the ones told by their partner. But at the end of the day — no matter who's telling the joke — there's no denying that a good sense of humor matters, and being able to share a good laugh on your big day bodes well for your relationship.

It's no secret that weddings tend to be packed with family and friends, and greeting everyone and giving them some time can quickly result in hours passing by. However, even though it is important to be nice to everyone attending the wedding, it's not as important as spending time with your partner during the celebration. After all, the whole day is supposed to mark the beginning of forever for the two of you, and if you're nowhere to be spotted together, that's a huge red flag.

When BuzzFeed asked their readers about wedding day red flags, a wedding photographer revealed that not managing to see the couple together is a huge one. "In one instance, the bride and groom just could not be bothered to be seen together at the wedding," they wrote. "I had to virtually drag them for getting some photos of the two of them together, and they kept walking off [to] hang out with their friends."

This sign is only applicable if the newlywed is close to their family, as estranged family members usually tend to keep their distance. According to Dr. Jack Brown, the family's body language is a great indicator of the marriage's future. "In particular, how are each of the parents-in-law behaving with and when talking about their new family member?" Dr. Brown asks. "Any friction with one's parents-in-law at the beginning of a marriage is a poor prognostic indicator for the health of the marriage."

Dr. Brown also explains that the body language of the in-laws when talking about their new family member can reveal a lot about how they truly feel about them. "Fascinatingly, when speaking about another person who is not immediately present [although they may still be nearby], one's body language is often exaggerated. In this context, their nonverbal behavior is like a highlighter," Dr. Brown exclusively tells us. Of course, this sign is only important if there is a close relationship between the parents and their child. After all, it's not unheard of that a parent doesn't approve of their child's choice — but that doesn't necessarily mean the marriage will fail.